


A Baby Girl

by LetterJumble



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adoption, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Original Character(s), Parenthood, parent!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:08:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4722158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetterJumble/pseuds/LetterJumble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Dan and Phil expected to arrive on their doorstep was a baby. A crying, abandoned baby girl, that someone left for them. But one day, that is exactly what they found. Now, they just have to figure out what in the world they are going to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Girl Lost and Left

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously I don't know Dan and Phil. I don't know what their relationship is like. This came from my weird head and is no way shape or form real life. 
> 
> Please do not leave a baby at your idols doorsteps.

She stared at the baby on the floor in front of her. It was blinking its eyes rapidly and then it opened its mouth and let out a wail. 

The girl froze. This could not be happening. She couldn't not have just had a baby. Except everything hurt and there was a baby in front of her. She was sixteen. Her parents would be home soon and it was the middle of a school week and oh god. Her life was over. 

The baby wailed and she picked her up. She grabbed a towel from the rack and rubbed the baby down, trying to get rid of some of the sticky parts. She held the baby to her chest and the baby latched on all of a sudden, sucking away. She had a baby. 

*****************

She had been avoiding her mother and school for the past few days. It wasn’t easy, but she couldn't tell about the baby. She couldn’t tell how much she had ruined everything, how stupid she had been. She had had to sneak out to buy diapers and wipes and an outfit, because she was supposed to be sick in bed. Now it was Sunday and she couldn't keep doing this. So the girl lied some more. 

"Ella's parents are going out of town on a business trip this week. They said she could stay, but they'd feel better if she had a friend with her. Can I go stay please?"

The girl sat through question after question and finally, her Mom said yes. So she packed a bag with stuff and then lined her backpack with a blanked and put the baby in there. "Shhhhhh" She whispered as she zipped it up. 

The girl waved goodbye to her Mom and walked out of the house. She hopped into her car and drove to some motel on the outskirts of town. She rented a room and fed her baby and put her to sleep and stared at the wall because she didn't know what to do. 

She couldn't have a baby. She couldn't raise a baby. She couldn't just abandon her baby in a park where it might die. She didn’t know what to do anymore. 

She fell asleep sobbing into the dirty pillow of the dirty motel.

*****************

Crying woke her up at three in the morning. The baby was awake and hungry. She hadn't named the baby yet. She couldn't do that, because then the baby was really hers. 

She held the baby close and rocked it and let it feed. The girl pulled out her computer and opened the internet. She needed to do something to not fall asleep and drop the baby. She was so tired, and she hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep. AmazingPhil was at the top of her subscription box and she smiled. He was one of the best.

*****************

It was Monday. The girl made an awful plan, but it was a plan. She fed the baby and turned on the TV and locked the door behind her. She had missed too much school and she had to go in and if they called her Mom after she skipped Monday too she was screwed. So she went to school and made some lame joke about the flu. 

Her friends said she still looked like shit and she laughed and agreed. It was probably because she was so worried about the baby. Or the fact that she had a baby. She still hurt all over, she barely had any sleep and she wasn’t doing anything well. The girl made it through the day, but just barely. She raced to the hotel trying not to focus on the gnawing pit in her stomach and the voice saying you left your baby for eight hours over and over again. 

She walked in the baby was crying and red in the face. The girl picked her up and burst into tears. She didn't know what she was doing she didn't know how to do this. 

The next day she fed her baby and went to school. She stayed for three hours, and went to the nurse and said she still felt sick from the flu and could she please go home. The nurse took one look at her and sent her on her way. The girl left relieved. 

The baby was crying when she got back, but not nearly as a hard. She picked her up and fed her and watched more of her two very favorite youtubers and got an idea. 

It was Dan and Phil. They had the money. They loved each other. They had flexible jobs. They could take care of the baby. She trusted them. 

She knew where they lived too. The summer before her and her friend played detective. She hadn't done anything when she found out. She just ran into Dan in the store and took a photo with him. She wasn't going to be one of those crazy stalker fans. But it worked out, because now she knew where they lived, and she had a baby she didn't know what to do with, and she had a plan.

*****************

The girl very carefully packed the backpack with the things the baby would need. She stared at the onesies in her hand. She pulled out a purple one covered in grapes because it was her favorite and she tucked it into her overnight bag. She might not have been a good mother, but she wasn’t going to forget her baby. 

The matching purple striped onesie was packed, along with the yellow and orange polka dot one. She put on a fresh diaper and dressed the baby in a little orange outfit with a lion on the front. It was perfect and it would draw them in. 

She braided her out of control hair and pinned it under a baseball cap. She fed the baby and rocked it to sleep. Then she carefully lay it into the backpack and zipped it mostly shut. She left it open on top, for some air for the baby. She had looked up the train schedule before hand. The train took about an hour, and the baby normally slept for two or three, so the girl figured it would be fine. She should have just enough time to drop it off before the baby woke up. 

The train called out the stop and the girl let out a sigh of relief. She made and the baby didn’t fuss. She got off and walked out as fast she could. She looked around, trying to remember exactly where Dan and Phil lived. She walked and turned and looked at street signs and then she saw the grocery store she had found Dan in. Perfect. 

The girl knew the way now. She found their apartment and smiled. She opened the backpack fully and pulled out the baby. She held her close and kissed her beautiful sleeping baby girl. “I love you baby girl” She whispered. 

The girl pulled out the blankets and arranged them and placed the baby in them. She pulled out the bag of nappies and wipes and the teddy and the letter. 

She kissed the baby again and rang the bell. She stood leaned against the door, hoping to hear some sign of movement. 

The girl panicked and worried they weren’t home, even though they claimed they were always home, because it was cold and she couldn’t leave the baby. If they weren’t home, she didn’t know what to do. 

She rang the bell again and knocked once and heard a voice shouting. “I’m coming!” The girl recognized the voice and breathed a sigh of relief. That was without a doubt the one and only, the amazing Phil. She had the right house and they were home and now her baby was too. 

She turned and ran away as fast as she could.


	2. A Baby Found

Dan heard a shriek and a thump.

“Phil?” He called out from the lounge. They had been playing Mario Cart and he had been kicking Phil’s ass as usual and then the doorbell would not stop ringing. He swore he hadn’t ordered any clothing recently and made Phil go get it. Except now Phil had screamed and remained oddly quiet since then. 

“Phil, what’s wrong?” He was a little concerned now. Dan jogged down the flights of stairs and saw Phil at the bottom, standing against the wall just starting at the door.

“Phil?”

“I nearly stepped on it.” Phil looked at Dan with eyes wider than normal. “Ohmygod Dan, what if I had crushed it.”

“Crushed what Phil?” Dan asked as he walked down the last of the steps. He looked at the open door to see a pile of blankets sitting on their porch. “The blankets? Where did those-“ He got cut off by a tiny little wail. 

“What is that Phil?” Dan was frozen for a second.

“There’s a baby.” Phil sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. “There is a baby in that pile of blankets.”

Dan took a few steps forward and looked down at the squirming crying little face in the pile of blankets. “Oh” He said looking at the baby. He swooped down and picked it up, holding tightly against his body. “It’s okay baby.” He said rocking slowly back and forth. “It’s okay. Are you cold? Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

Phil looked up at his boyfriend cradling this tiny little baby and smiled. You could barely see the thing under Dan’s gigantic hands. “Dan” he smiled softly as he said it.

Dan stopped cooing over the baby and looked at Phil, still rocking back and forth as the baby cried. “Who’d it come with Phil?”

“No one was there.” Phil gestured wildly to the empty door way. “I just opened the bloody door and there was a baby there. Someone literally abandoned a baby at our door.” He stood up and looked at Dan holding the baby. 

Dan looked out the door. There wasn’t a person in sight. He reminded himself to breath and tried to calm down. “Okay. I’m going upstairs. You grab its stuff and we’ll figure out what to do. Maybe someone will come back.” 

*****************  
“It won’t stop crying Phil.” Dan was sat on the couch, rocking the baby back and forth.

“Don’t call it, it Dan.” Phil sat down and looked through the bag. “I think it’s a girl, here’s a purple onesie.” He took it out and folded it and put it on the table. Then he did the same with the three blankets the baby had been lying in. “There are nappies and wipes in here. Reckon she needs to be changed?”

“I don’t know.” Dan looked over with wide, panic filled eyes. “I don’t know how to take care of a baby. How do you check that?”

“I dunno. Smell its bum.” 

“You have to hold its head Phil, how do you hold its head and smell its bum.”

Phil shrugged. “Just lift it above you. It’ll fit in your hands.” 

Dan adjusted the baby and lifted it above his head. He hesitated and sniffed slightly. “I don’t smell anything?” He lowered the baby back to his chest and glanced at his boyfriend, who had this little grin on his face. “What? Were you messing with me?”

“No no no.” Phil smiled. “You just look like such a Dad. It’s what I pictured one day.”

“Oh.” Dan replied softly. The sat there and stared at each other for a second. The baby kept crying. “Right.” Dan looked down at it. “Okay, maybe it’s hungry. Any food in there?”

“Just a teddy.” Phil placed the little brown bear on the top of the small pile of baby things. At the bottom of the bag lay a letter. “And a letter.” 

A particularly loud wail rang through the lounge. “Right okay,” Dan said, mostly too himself. “It must be hungry. Go to the store and get baby food and a bottle or something.”

Phil bounced up. “Right okay. Will you be okay?”

“I don’t know?”

“I’ll try to be super fast.”

*****************

There was piano music mixing in with the sound of a baby crying when Phil returned to the apartment. He went into Dan’s room and saw the wiggling mass of blankets on the bed and a wide-eyed Dan at his piano. 

“She wouldn’t stop. So I thought I try this. It didn’t really help. What took you so long?”

“Well, I got to the store and I didn’t know what to do. So I went up to this lady with a baby, because I figured, hey she has baby, she’ll know what to do. But she just kind of glared at me and was like ‘aisle three’. So I was standing in aisle and three, and Dan there are so many types of formula. What if I picked the wrong one and accidently killed her? Or turned her into a cat or something? So I was reading each label one by one and then some nice lady with like fifty kids. What is that look for? She definitely had fifty kids. Anyway she was like first time dad? And I couldn’t explain this could I so I just went along with it and was like yeah she’s brand new and I don’t know what kind to buy. So she was like-“

“Phil, not that I don’t want to hear the end of this, but please go make the stuff, so we can calm down the baby.”

Phil stands up and leaves the room. Dan picks up the baby and starts rocking her again. “It’s okay little girl. You don’t have to cry anymore okay? Can you calm down? You’re going to get some nice warm food in just a-“ Dan heard a crash in the kitchen and it sounded like an avalanche of pans had fallen. “Eventually, I'll just sing you a song until then okay?” 

Dan sang softly to the crying girl until he heard a soft voice in the doorway. “Dan.” Phil whispered. Dan looked up to see Phil looking at him with wonder in his eyes. 

“What?”

“Your going to be a great Dad is all.”

“Take her and feed her.”

Phil shook his head. “You got her.”

“No.” Dan knew Phil was worried about his clumsiness. He also knew Phil would do just fine. “Sit down Phil.”

Phil sat. Dan put the baby in his arms and Phil looked at her nervously. “Hi there sweetie.” He said. Dan handed him the bottle. He put it to her mouth and she started sucking happily. “Oh!” He looked up at Dan and smiled. “She’s eating Dan!”

“Yeah.” Dan smiled at his boyfriend, his heart swelling as he watched him feed the baby. “Look at that.” He grinned again. “So the lady helped you pick this out? It seems to be working.”

“Oh right.” Phil couldn’t keep his eyes off the baby. She was so tiny and perfect and adorable. “Right, she asked if I had bought some before, and I said no and she was like oh the wife normally does and I was like, husband.” Phil glanced up at Dan. “I know we're not, you know, married yet, but it was easier that way.” He looked back down at the baby. “Plus it sounded nice. But she was totally chill and pointed out the one for newborns and then she even came with me and picked out a bottle for me. She asked what her name was and I panicked and said Aurelia.”

“Aurelia?”

“It was on younow and I liked it.”

“I’m not naming her Aurelia. That’s too many syllables for a child to pronounce.”

Phil pouted. “I like it.”

“No. What about Juliette.”

“We can’t name her after a tragic love story. That’s setting her up for disaster. What about Violet?”

“Mmmm, I don’t like flower names that much.” Dan looked at Phil and grinned. They had discussed this once or twice, in passing and brief sentences, but this seemed different. Then he looked down at the baby. 

“Phil, you know we probably have to call the police right? We can’t just like, keep a baby that was mysteriously left on our doorstep.”

Phil looked up and sighed. He knew, he just let himself forget for a moment. He liked saying he had a husband and baby at home. He liked holding her and feeding her more than he thought he would. He and Dan had discussed babies. They’d get married first and then adopt two or three. This was all supposed to be a few years down the road. But here they were with a baby. A baby that wasn’t theirs. “I know Dan.”


	3. Letters and Love and Loss

“I guess we call the police?” Phil glanced at Dan. He wasn’t actually sure what to do in this situation. Who gets into these situations in real life? No one, except for Dan and Phil. “Or social services?”

“Uh?” Dan looked just as clueless. Then the baby started to cry again from her place on Phil’s lap. “Is she hungry again?”

Phil pushed the bottle to her lips but she just kept on crying “Dan?”

“Well, I don’t know Phil. Don’t look at me like that. ” Phil looked up at Dan helplessly. “Fine, give her to me.” Dan reached down and picked up the crying girl. 

“I’ll google it.” Phil grabbed the laptop off from the desk and typed something into it. “Did we burp her?’

“No.” Dan stopped rocking for a second. “How do we do that?” 

“Ummm.” Phil scanned the webpage. “Hold her over your shoulder and hit her back.” 

Dan flipped her up and patted her hesitantly. “It’s not working Phil!”

“Keep hitting her.”

Dan hesitated. How hard were you supposed to hit a baby? They were really rather breakable weren’t they? She was crying either way so he hit her back a little harder. There was a tiny burp and a gurgle and Dan felt something wet. “What was that?”

Phil looked up and giggled. “Oh. Um, when they burp, they spit up a little.” The baby had stopped crying and was contently laying on Dan with her eyes closed. 

“Phil this is Givenchy. Please tell me there is not baby vomit on my shirt.”

Phil stood up trying not to laugh. There was spit up all down the back of Dan’s shirt and Dan was going to freak out. The baby was now laying peacefully on his shoulder, without a care in the world and it was funnier than it should have been. “How about you give me the baby, and go throw that in the sink.”

“No. Ohmygod no.” Dan handed the baby over and yanked off his shirt. “Ohmygod how is there so much? She’s so tiny.”

Phil just rocked the baby back and forth. “Hi there little puke bear. You feel better now don’t you? Yes you do. Always throw up on Dan okay. I have a leather shirt I want you to aim at next time, okay little puke bear?”

Dan laughed. “Phil, you can’t call her little puke bear. And keep her away from my clothing. Besides you know that shirt is ironic.”

Phil hummed contently. “We know that’s not true.” He whispered to the little baby who was falling asleep in his arms. “Right little puke bear?” He glanced up to see Dan’s eyes twinkling. “We’ll be in the lounge. When you put on a shirt, and after you wash out the bottle, you can come join us.”

*****************

Dan came into the lounge wearing the sunnydale high t-shirt and found Phil sitting there with the baby asleep on his chest. He was holding a letter. 

“What’s that?” Dan walked over and sat down next to Phil. 

“It was in the bag. It’s addressed to us.” Dan grabbed the letter and saw the words ‘Dan and Phil’ written in neat letters on the cover. 

“I guess we read it.” He opened the letter and looked at it. Then he began to read.

 _Dear Dan and Phil,_  
_I should start out by saying I absolutely adore your videos. You guys always find away to make me laugh when I want to cry and smile when I am angry at the world. I’ve been watching you guys for about two years now, and I just love everything you do. I’m sorry I know your address, don’t worry I haven’t told anyone._  
_I am not sure how this happened, but I had a baby girl. I am not ready to have a raise a baby or be a mother. No one even knew I was pregnant. I didn’t realize it myself until very late. I had the baby and I didn’t know what to do. She was crying and I was crying and I turned to your videos and it hit me. You guys would be perfect parents._  
_Please don’t hate me, or freak out. You two are always so kind. You’re nice to all the subscribers you meet on the street, you encourage your followers to be kind and love themselves and others, you preach tolerance and acceptance, you have money and love and would be perfect parents. I have faith in you to raise my baby girl in the best way possible._  
_I know that at this point in my life, I would do a poor job parenting. I love her, and because of that I am giving her to you. I want you two to have her. Please take her and love her and raise her. If you love her half as much as you love each other, I will be grateful._

_Thank You._

_p.s. I didn’t name her. I thought you could. Just perhaps no inanimate objects? Thanks!_

 

“Well shit.” Phil said. Dan put the letter on the table and looked at Phil. His head was spinning more now than it had been before. Some choose them to raise their baby. A stranger left their kid on the doorstep with no intention of returning and now what were they supposed to do?

“Yeah.”

“Dan, what do we do?” Phil looked at the sleeping baby on his chest. “What are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know Phil.”

They sat there in silence, staring at each other and the baby. The minutes rolled by as they raced around their thoughts and tried to formulate an opinion. 

“What about the name Willow?” Phil finally asked

“We aren’t naming her after a tv character.”

“Fine.” Phil pouted. “Jada?”

“Morgan?”

“Amelia?”

“Nicole?”

“Isabelle?”

“Isabelle? Maybe. Sophia?”

“Esme?”

“Clara?”

Phil jerked his head up. “Clara?” He looked down at the baby. “What do you think? Do you like the name Clara?” The baby breathed softly. “She likes it Dan.”

Dan smiled. “Okay, Clara Isabelle then.”

“Hi Clara Isabelle.” Phil said to the little girl. He looked at Dan and smiled. Then he looked down at the baby and sighed. It was all to easy to get carried away playing house. But none of it was real, it couldn’t be. “What are we doing Dan?”

“I know we have to call social services. She asked us to name her, so I guess. We can name her and then let someone take her? We’re not ready to be parents are we?”

“No.” Phil shook his head. “No of course not, we have youtube and the radio show and a million things we’re trying to do. We can’t possibly have a baby now. We didn’t even want a baby remember? We were going to get a toddler.”

Dan nodded. “Right. Exactly.” He looked down at the sleeping girl. “I guess I’ll call 999?”

Phil looked down at the sleeping baby again. She needed to be safe. “I think we have to.”

*****************

There was a knock on the door. Phil looked up at Dan and sighed. Clara was still asleep on his chest.

“I’ll get it.” Dan said stiffly. He walked down stairs and came back up with a police officer and a lady who must be from childcare.

“So here’s the little baby.” The women said. She smiled down at Phil and Clara. “She seems quite comfortable.” Phil nodded. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed this sleeping creature resting on him. It was so surreal, but it felt so natural. He didn’t even mind not being able to move in fear he’d wake her. 

“She had been crying earlier, but we calmed her down.”

“What happened when she got here? Can you walk me through it?” The policeman asked. Dan and Phil nodded. They told the story together, moving seamlessly from one person speaking to the other, as they often did when telling a story that involved the two of them. Their friends often laughed when this happened, saying it was so Dan and Phil, and they were such a couple it was ridiculous, and Dan and Phil would grumble and act annoyed but secretly love it. This time though, with the office writing down notes, and asking questions, it seemed a lot less fun and a lot more serious. 

“Thank You.” The policeman said. “We’ll take her to the hospital to make sure she is medically stable now.”

“Then what?” Phil asked. There was something in his gut saying this wasn’t good. Not that they weren’t nice people or anything, but this was a little baby here. 

“Well,” The social services lady began. “We’ll put her photo out to the news on the off change a family member recognizes her, or perhaps realizes something was off with their teen daughter, and she’ll go into foster care. If no family is found she’ll be put up for adoption. They’ll have a few months to claim her though.”

“Can we come with to the hospital?” Dan asked. Phil looked over at him in surprise. Dan looked at him, and Phil knew he was feeling the same way. 

“Sure. No reason why not.” The policeman smiled. “We need to take her stuff in for evidence. This bag was brought with her?”

Dan nodded and they both stood up. Phil swapped Clara to Dan and went to pull on his shoes, and Dan followed. They climbed into the police car and sped off to the hospital. 

The doctor examining the baby smiled at them. Clara cried a little when the stethoscope was placed on her chest, but the doctor reassured them it was just because it was a little cold. Dan had held her through most of the examination. “She seems perfectly healthy. About a week old I would say. A bit on the small side, but nothing to be concerned about yet.” 

“Good.” The social worked smiled. “Now we’ll just snap a photo of this lovely lady for the news. Baby Doe will get some good attention, and hopefully someone will step up.”

“We, uh, called her Clara.” Phil mumbled.

“Oh, okay.” The social worked smiled. “For her sake, we’ll call her baby Doe on the news, but make sure her foster home calls her Clara.”

Dan nodded. That sounded reasonable. If people knew her name they might find her later. He knew how easy it was to find people. Their fans did it without even having a name sometimes. That gave him an idea though “You can, um, use us. We’re kind like, well known, especially if you think it was a teenager.”

The social worker frowned. “Known?”

“We like, make videos on youtube, so millions of people watch us.” Dan had a channel pitch memorized for someone he was trying to explain his job too, but this was a different situation, and he didn’t quite know how to explain.

“We also have a show at BBC radio 1”

The social worker smiled. “Okay. That might be helpful then. Perhaps we will take one photo with you too as well.”

Dan and Phil nodded. They took the photo, they said goodbye, and they went home.


	4. Senses Overwhelmed

The news story broke an hour later, and it blew up. They had to turn off their phones and shut down their computers due to the mass amounts of tweets and messages they were getting. It was overwhelming. The good news was that Clara’s picture was everywhere, the bad news was that people were going crazy. Dan thought he saw a phanfiction written before he slammed his laptop shut. It was all too much. He wanted Clara to be safe, and for everything to work out, and now he was reading a story about what amazing parents they would be. He didn’t know what to do. He needed Phil. 

Dan walked into the lounge and found Phil watching the news. There was a breaking story about Baby Doe, and Dan and Phil’s faces flashed across the screen. 

“Phil.” Dan said softly sitting down next to his boyfriend and wrapping an arm around his middle. Phil leaned into him. 

“Dan.” Phil hesitated. He had been watching the news as much as possible. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, and it was probably better if he just let her go and knew she was safe somewhere. Except every time her photo came up and the newscaster commented on the sadness of the situation his insides clenched. He needed to talk to Dan. He wasn’t sure if this was going to work out, but he had to.

“What?” Dan tightened his grip around his boyfriend. 

“I think I want her.” 

Dan’s face broke into a huge smiled and he buried himself in Phil. “Me too, Philly, me too.”

*****************  
The next morning Dan and Phil were running around their flat frantically. They had called the social worker the night before. It was after hours, but they left a message begging for consideration to take her. Then they remembered they had zero baby things, so they panicked and bought a lot of stuff with immediate shipping online. It was due to arrive any minute so they were trying to clean out Dan’s “bedroom” to make room for baby. 

“I think we need to put some of this in storage.” They were shoving the wardrobe into Phil’s room, but there was nothing to do with the extra bed. They got it in place and went back to look at what was left.

“What about the piano?” 

“Keep it.” Dan nodded. He loved that thing. It was great to be able to relax and calm down and just play. Plus, the baby might like it. “We’ll store the butt chair along with the bed. Desk?”

“Not sure, what did we order last night?” On cue, the doorbell rang. They went down stairs and opened the door to two delivery guys and tons of boxes.

“Oh shit that’s a lot of stuff.” Dan bit his lip. “Okay, yeah. Upstairs.” He grabbed a smaller box and the four of them moved up and down dragging it all inside. 

The workers left and Dan and Phil stared at the massive amount of stuff in front of them. Phil sighed and reached into a bag. He pulled out packet of tiny socks. He put them back and sighed again. “Perhaps,” he looked around slowly. “Perhaps, we should start by putting together the crib.”

Dan nodded. “Do you need to get your man band?” He smirked. 

‘Shut up.” Phil tried to glare at him, but ended up laughing instead. “That was one freaking time. I am now such an expert manly man, I don’t need any accessories to build this crib. It will be done before you can fall out of your chair again.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Dan just kissed him. “We have limited time Phil. Lets put those skills to the test!”

*****************

They had the crib completed, except they realized they forgot to order sheets, and were working on a dresser/changing table when the social worked called. Dan had answered the phone and put it on speaker immediately. 

“Hello boys, baby Clara has gotten quite a lot of interest you know. It spread very quickly. We’ve had numerous calls from teenage girls calling in to offer their help.”

“Oh…um sorry, our fans can get a little…enthusiastic.” Dan mumbled into the phone. He was a little worried. What if they put the baby somewhere else? Surely there were more stable homes to send her too.

“It’s fine, we’ve been directing them to some good charities. Now, you called because you wanted to foster her?”

“Yeah.” Phil nodded before remembering the lady couldn’t see him. “We were just thinking it over and we thought, we really want her. We wanted kids eventually, and here was this perfect baby given to us, so we shouldn’t have let her go.”

“So right now, she is safe in emergency care, and was going to be moved to long term foster care as soon as possible. I’m correct in saying you don’t have your license?”

“No.” Phil said. He hadn’t even thought of that. Who knows how long that could take. She might be gone by then.

“We’ll do anything we can to get it though. Can we do it fast?” Dan chimed in, biting his lip nervously. He really wanted this baby. He couldn’t explain why, but god he even missed her tiny little self, and she had only been with them for a few hours. 

“Normally no, but this is an exceptional case isn’t it. We normally don’t have outright abandoned babies, and certainly not anyway where someone picked out the parents. So, I’ll come over today to get the initial visit and drop off all the paperwork. There’s quite a bit. We can talk about classes and trainings and home visits then okay?”

“Yes!” Dan and Phil said excitedly in unison. 

The women laughed. “Okay gentlemen. I’ll see you around two.” 

Dan hung up and launched himself at Phil. “ We have a chance!” He said clutching his boyfriend for dear life. “We have an actual chance at getting her.”


	5. Meetings and Paperwork

The doorbell rang at exactly 1:57. Dan and Phil grabbed each others hands and walked down the stairs. They swung open to door. 

“Hello” they said in unison to the social worker. 

Phil searched for her name from the numerous times she had introduced herself. Annabelle Cunningham was her name. “Please come in Ms. Cunningham.” Phil stepped aside. 

“Would you like some tea, coffee, anything?” Dan asked as they made their way upstairs. 

“I’m fine gentleman. Please, call me Annabelle.” She said. They walked into the living room and Dan and Phil watched as she slowly surveyed the room. Phil regrasped Dan’s hand as he saw him gulp. “I have a lot go over, so where shall we sit?”

“The couch?” Dan said in almost a question. Anna nodded and sat down and they sat down next to her. 

“Now, like I said on the phone this is quite the unusual case. But we like happy endings and if little Clara staying with you is a good fit, we will try to make it happen.”

“We would love to have her.” Phil said surely and confidently.

“Have you always wanted children?”

Dan nodded. “Yeah, forever. We didn’t plan on having them yet, but just having her here, even if it was for a short time, we realized how much we wanted to be parents, to raise Clara.”

“That’s always good to hear. Now,” She reached into her bag and pulled out two huge stacks of paper. “This is normally done over months, but we will try and expedite the process. So, it’s Wednesday, if this could be done by Friday that would be amazing. I have a home visit scheduled by then too, so this place needs to be baby ready. Just a warning, you have a lot of stairs. Now,” She shuffled through paperwork and Dan made a mental note to look up babies and stairs. “This stack needs to be filled out.” She began to flip through the papers. “We have basic info from the two of you, we have medical histories of you and your extended families, we’ll also need a current medical check up by your physician, education history, we have relationship information, financial and career information, have child rearing practice intentions, religious, educational, ect. We will need letters of reference from your job, and recommendations and support, preferably a mix of family and friends, hopefully some who have seen you interact with children.” She finally paused and took a breath. 

Dan glanced at Phil. Phil was overloaded with information. How could they get this done in the next two days? Dan smiled and Phil smiled back. They would get this done. They had to. 

“Okay, so then we have this packet, which explains how foster care works, the biological families rights, stipends, rules on care of the child, potential adoption, and the like, you’ll have to read through this, sign and date, just call if you have any questions and I will be more than happy to help.”

Dan and Phil nodded. 

“Now, we also need you two to take some information and education classes. They’ll be sporadically throughout the foster process, but there is a pre-foster class that is necessary. Unfortunately the next one in London is in two weeks, but I took the liberty of looking up some information and found there is one from 10 until 3 in Manchester tomorrow, if you could get there.”

“Yes,” Dan blurted out without thinking. They would get there. 

“Great. Here’s the information on that.” She pushed forward the smallest stack of paper. “I already put your names down, just in case.” She pulled out a few sheets. “Fill this out now so our agency can start processing a background check as soon as possible.” Dan grabbed the form and started filling it out. Annabelle smiled. “Do you have any questions?” 

“I think we just have to get started on this.” Phil said slowly, taking in the amount of work they would have to. He took the other page and filled it out and they turned it back over. “Thank you so much for making this work for us.”

Annabelle nodded. “Of course gentlemen.” She smiled and stood up. “Well I’ll leave you to it.”

Dan and Phil walked her out, thanking her profusely. She left and Dan collapsed on a heap in their entryway. “Holy fuck Phil.”

“You can’t curse around the baby.”

“Do you think we can really do it?” Dan asked looking up at him. Phil sat down beside him. “Are we ready?

“Raise a kid?” Phil snorted. “Of course not! We aren’t ready. We have no clue what we are doing. But bloody hell Dan, I want to try.”

“You can’t curse around the baby.” Dan grinned and Phil leaned over to kiss him. 

“Yeah, might as well get it all out before she comes then shouldn’t we.”

“Probably.” Dan looked at Phil. “We should ask our parents how they did it.”

“Oh god, my Mom is going to be so excited.” Phil grinned. “She’ll be so annoyed she didn’t have time to prepare to be grandmother-y.”

Dan’s eyes widened. “They’re going to flip the fuck out. Although, both of them asked about marriage the last time we visited, so this really shouldn’t be too much of a surprise for them.”

“No,” Phil snorted. “They can deal with their own shit, we’ll deal with ours. They’ll have to fill out those letters, them and Martyn and Cornelia.”

“Louise too, she’s seen us with Darcy, and Ian and his family perhaps?”

“Perfect.” Phil broke out into a huge smile. “Yes, okay. We can learn. We can ask people. They can help us.” He frowned slightly. “We can’t tell the internet.”

Dan’s eyes widened. “Oh god no. They’d all think it’s okay to drop off babies.”

Phil grinned. “One for each subscriber.” He laughed hysterically. “First youtubers to reach a million babies. We’d get a plaque of dummies.”

“That’s not funny Phil.” Dan laughed anyway. Then he really thought about it. They really couldn’t encourage this. People can’t just drop off babies at people’s houses because they watch their content. “Actually, we should do a live show where we talk about it, and actively discourage it. We can just mention the baby is safe in foster care. No one has to know that’s us.”

Phil nodded. “Okay. I wonder if the girl who dropped off the baby will watch. I hope she’s okay.”

Dan leaned over and kissed him. He didn’t know how he got so lucky sometimes. Phil was the kindest, most considerate person ever. “I hope she’s okay too. But now, we have work to do.” Dan stood up and held his hands out to Phil. Phil grabbed on and pulled himself up. “So, you call the doctor, see if we can appointments now or Friday morning. I’ll start on the paperwork?”

“Sounds good Bear, sounds good”


	6. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday & Tuesday

After collapsing on the train seat Dan’s head fell onto Phil’s shoulder. “No we have paperwork.” Phil tried to push Dan away. “Wake up you spoon.”

“I’ve gotten four hours of sleep. All we’ve done is paperwork.” Dan gripped Phil tighter. 

“Too bad.” Phil pushed Dan over and Dan glared at him before yanking out one of the packets. 

“We fell asleep reading the information packet. Do you remember where?”

“No.” Phil grinned sheepishly. “Not a clue.”

They flipped through until things stopped looking familiar and read. Phil took down notes on what seemed important and then they were halfway to Manchester. 

“Okay, lets sign this and nap.” 

*****************

Phil sat across from Dan and an old favorite restaurant date spot. They had finished the training session, and then ran into a group of students getting out of school. It was a lot for very little sleep. After that they had all but collapsed in the booth in the back corner where they always used to hide away from it all. 

“That was intense.” The info session had been crazy. There was so much information. 

“There are so many things that could go wrong.” Dan looked nervous. He sipped his water and looked at Phil. “I mean, there could be so many problems and we’d have to deal with them. What if her family comes back, then we’d give her away. What if she gets sick? What if she doesn’t connect with us? She might hate us Phil.”

“Breath Dan.” He nibbled at his food. “I think that is what parenthood means. Worrying too much. My mom always rolled her eyes and said I would get it one day.” 

Dan made a grumpy noise. “Well I don’t like it. We don’t have her yet and I’m worried about our not baby proof apartment and finding a fucking doctor. Do you know how long it’s been since I went to the doctor Phil?”

“Yes, in fact I do…Do you still want to do this?” Phil was hesitant to ask this. He still wanted to do this. It was stressful and nerve wracking and all he could think about was Clara. But he really really wanted to do this. 

Dan smiled reassuringly. “Of course I want to do this. I care so much about that baby Phil…Do you still want to?”

“More than anything.”

*****************

Back at their apartment they stood in what would be the baby’s room. “Okay.” Dan looked around. “So, what else do we need?” 

Phil sat at the floor with his laptop open. “I’ve got baby gates for the stairs, and they’re recommending all this baby proofing stuff, so I’m just going to add it all. Now, this lady wrote some blog about the best baby toys, so I’ve added those. It’s a lot of stuff.”

Dan didn’t even want to know how much this was going to cost. Strangely enough he didn’t care. He opened his own laptop. “I’ll do books and clothing…and oh my god Phil look at this Winnie-the-Pooh little outfit.”

Phil glanced over. “Yes. Get that. Look at this tiny little dress covered in ice cream.”

Dan actually cooed when he saw it. Then he turned bright red. Phil laughed hysterically. “What is happening?”

“I don’t know Phil.” Dan added a black outfit covered in sparkling silver stars to his cart. “What size should we get?”

“I don’t know.” Phil studied the screen. “Maybe bigger for summer-y stuff.”

“Okay.”

*****************

The next morning Dan and Phil were yet again pouring through the boxes upon boxes they had order. “What the hell is this Phil?” Dan held up something. It looked like suspenders, which just didn’t make any sense. Phil just stared at it. 

“No idea.” 

Dan tossed it aside. They have so much stuff and he literally didn’t understand what half of it was for. He wasn’t sure why there was a set of rainbow colored baby bowls and utensils. She definitely couldn’t eat yet. There were so many warmers. Wipe warmers, bottle warmers, he didn’t remember her being particularly cold. 

They ran through the house like crazy, putting latches on cabinets and protectors in sockets and folding tons of tiny little clothes. Phil trying to attach a bunch of toys to some spinning chair thing and Dan was trying to keep the baby gate from falling down the stairs when the doorbell rang. 

“Shit.” Dan’s hand curled into a fist as the baby gate went tumbling down the stairs yet again. Phil’s hand suddenly wrapped around his. 

“It’s okay Bear, we’ll figure it out.” Dan nodded and wiggled his fingers until he was holding Phil’s hand. 

“What if we don’t? What if she falls down the stairs? I mean, Phil, it’s a baby gate, what happens when we get the actually baby.”

“We’ll learn.” Phil kissed his forehead. “We will learn and the baby won’t fall down the stairs. If anything, I’ll drop her and break her.” Phil said in a whisper.

Dan tensed up for a second at how dejected Phil sounded. He hadn’t even thought of how nervous Phil might be. “No you won’t.” He said hugging him tightly. “You won’t drop her. I saw you hold her Phil, and you were great.”

The doorbell rang again. “Come on, lets see if we even have the chance to get her.”

They walked down the stairs. Phil picked up the baby gate and rested it on the landing. They opened the door and there was Annabelle. 

“Nice to see you lads.” She smiled warmly at them. 

“You as well.” Phil smiled. “Please, come in.”

They made their way upstairs. “Now is this the only bathroom?” Annabelle asked as the made it to the landing.

“Yes.” Dan said nervously. She nodded and looked around. Dan and Phil stood nervously half a step behind her as she went through their whole house. She opened drawers and poked and prodded everywhere, asking the occasional question. She scribbled things down on the stack of papers she had every so often and it was utterly and completely terrifying. 

“Lets sit and go over things.” Annabelle smiled at them. They went to their dinning table where the stack of paperwork they had done was sitting. They literally had no idea how they managed to get through it, but that had. The hardest thing had been the doctors, but this morning they had showed up fifteen minutes before the office opened and gotten everything done. The nurses were all smiley and chattering about how exciting getting a baby was. It was a soft spot that apparently made them work faster and get everything done. 

They handed her the paperwork and she smiled. “So you’ve got it all?”

“Yes.” Dan said. He held tightly to Phil’s hand beneath the table. Phil could sense how nervous he was. They both were. 

“Well, this is great.” Annabelle said as she flipped through it. “It all looks great.” She smiled at them. “I’ll have to drop these off at the office and make sure everything gets looked through and processed. We’ll contact you as soon as possible.” She stood up and smiled. “But I must say, everything seems to be checking out so far.”

Phil nearly vaulted across the table to hug her, but then decided it probably wouldn’t be professional. He went for profusely thanking her instead. Dan had to tug at him to get him to stop talking. 

They walked Annabelle out. “Thank you again.” Dan said softly. “For everything.” 

The door shut behind her and Phil leapt on Dan. They fell onto a heap on the floor, laughing and crying and shrieking. “We’re going to get approved Bear. I can feel it.”

Dan just cried against Phil. “I hope so Phil, I really hope so.”

*****************

The weekend past. They did a live show together and Sunday, on talked all about the baby who was left on their doorstep. They weren’t lying when they said she was no longer with them and that she was safely in foster care. They had decided long ago that lying was okay anyway, if it was for their safety and protection. 

On Monday, Dan woke up at seven. Seven in the morning because the agency might call. Phil got up half an hour later because the warmth beside him was gone. 

“What are you doing awake?” He mumbled incoherently to Dan, who was in the kitchen sipping coffee.

“Drink this.” Dan responded shoving a mug to Phil. Phil drank it and started to wake up a little more. 

“What are you doing awake?” He asked again, this time with his words not slurred together in a jumbled mess.

“What if they call us today Phil?” Dan had taken forever to fall asleep in anticipation and then woke up early for him, and now he didn’t exactly know what to do with his time, because if was just allowed to sit around and think it would end disastrously. 

“It’s been only the weekend Dan. Certainly they won’t call us today.” Phil washed out his cup and thought some more. “I mean I doubt they will. These things normally take a while right?”

“I don’t know.” Dan’s voice began to rise. “I’ve never done this before Phil.”

Phil hugged Dan to try and calm him down. “Right okay, we need a distraction. Lets film a bunch of gaming videos. We can be loud and curse before the baby gets here.”

Dan nodded. They went off and filmed two episodes of the sims and two of some indie game that was so great they didn’t even realize how much time had passed of them playing it. Dan cooked dinner while Phil began to edit and they ate and watched some tv and went to bed.  
*****************

The next morning it was Phil who was up obscenely early. This time he Dan found him surrounded by baby care books frantically highlighting.

“What are you doing?” He asked as he sat down next to Phil, kissed his forehead, and confiscated his highlighter. 

“Preparing Dan. Did you know we should start solids around six months, and we should read to them a lot so they don’t turn out stupid, also they should start following objects when they’re really little, if they don’t they might be broken. I was going to start looking up the cost of occupational therapy just in case, because if we get in there early with help, it’s better for the baby.”

“Right, that’s great, lets put the books away for now.” Dan stacked up the books, ignoring Phil’s weak protests. He made Phil make pancakes for breakfast and maybe, just maybe, looked up why a baby might need therapy. Not that he would ever tell Phil that. 

After breakfast Phil kept looking over at the books.

‘All right,” Dan sighed. “Lets do some main channel videos.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah okay, my mom sent over those photos of me and Martyn when we were kids. I could film the brother trouble video.”

“Yes. Then after that film the book review thing you were talking about. I’ll work on a script for adulting fails, and edit some gaming.”

Phil nodded and somehow, they got through Tuesday.


	7. Baby Care 101

On Wednesday they both got up ridiculous early. “This is fucking impossible.”

“Yeah it is.”

“I can’t wait much longer.”

“Want to call the agency?”

Dan just groaned. “No.”

At 3:43 pm, the phone rang. It was Annabelle. “Hello?” Dan answered the phone with a shakey voice. 

“There’s a little girl who would like to be moved to a more permanent foster home.” Dan’s face broke out into the biggest smile imaginable. 

“We got her?” He said.

“You do.” Dan shrieked, actually shrieked and he and Phil held each other and spun around. They got the address to go to and went to pick up Clara.  
*****************  
They had managed to stop crying, but started up again when she was handed over to them. 

“Good Luck.” Annabelle said, as they hailed a cab and climbed in. Then they were on their own. 

They got back to their apartment and went upstairs. Phil put the little plastic bag of Clara’s things in her room and went to Dan, who was sitting in the lounge holding her. 

“We have a baby.”

“Yes, we do.” Dan waved one hand in front of her face. “They think she’s about two weeks old right?”

“Yeah. If we get to adopt her, they say we could pick a birthday.”

Dan nodded. “Do you think the Mom will really come back?”

“I don’t know.” Phil leaned onto Dan. “I mean, it doesn’t seem like she’s ready. Maybe her Mom would, if she found out.”

“Huh.”

“But I doubt it. The family would have heard about it by now.” Phil gently rubbed Clara’s tummy. “I think she’s getting sleepy.” Phil stroked her belly and Dan ran his thumb in circles over her head. Her eyes drooped and opened and closed for a little until they stayed shut. 

“Hey, she’s asleep.” Dan whispered. “We put her to sleep.”

Phil grinned. “Yeah, we did it.”

*****************  
That night she woke up every three hours crying. Dan and Phil woke up together, and one rocked her and one got her bottle and they changed her and out her back to bed. Then she started wailing again at seven and Dan jolted up.

“I am so tired.” He groaned and fell onto Phil. He grunted and rolled over, trying to bury under the covers. “Phil…I think we are doing this wrong.”

“Wha?” Phil mumbled, mornings were never his best. It always took one cup of coffee and at least twenty minutes to be able to form complete words; sentences took another ten. 

“We’re doing this wrong. Only one of us is supposed to get up when she cries in the middle of the night. Not both of us. Then we like…” Dan tried to remember the words. “Then we get more sleep.”

“Great.” Phil pulled a pillow over his head. Dan groaned. He shouldn’t have said that until they were both up. Now he had to move. 

That afternoon Phil decided that Clara had to spend some time away from them. 

“What the actual fuck are you talking about Phil.”

“Dan!” Phil covered Clara’s ears. “What I was trying to say was that I read if we don’t practice not holding her, she will have attachment problems. She will not be able to separate from us”

“Phil.” Dan glanced down at the baby in his arms. He liked holding her. 

“No, I swear, its true. What happens when we leave her with a babysitter, we don’t want her crying the whole time. Plus, sometimes we’ll be working, she needs to learn to entertain herself.”

“We can’t leave her with a babysitter!”

Phil shrugged. “Well, I mean one of our parents or Martyn or Louise or something. Not a real babysitter. See, we need this for us too. We’ve literally never put her down.”

“She slept in her crib.” 

Phil spread a blanket on the floor. “She needs to practice Dan.”

Dan sighed and put her down. They stared at her, hovering right over the blankets. She blinked and looked vaguely in their direction. “It’s okay if she can’t really focus on us yet.” Dan whispered. 

“Why are we whispering?” 

“I don’t know.” Dan looked down at Clara. She was just so tiny and perfect and he really needed to be holding her again. “How long has it been?”

“Like thirty seconds Dan.”

Dan sighed and went back to staring at her. They both just sat on their knees, watching her lay there and squirm about. She didn’t move much yet, but her arms and legs wiggled a little bit. 

It felt like forever had passed when Dan asked how long it had been again, without taking his eyes off Clara. Phil had to tear his away to glance at his phone. “It has been three minutes.”

Dan laughed his loud laugh. “We are awful at this.” 

“The books didn’t really say what to do, but I think we aren’t supposed to just stare at her.” Phil sighed and looked at Dan. “Will you stop laughing.”

“Come on, this is a little ridiculous.”

Phil rolled his eyes dramatically. “Maybe. I stand by the fact that she needs this.”

“I know love.” Dan leaned over and kissed him. “We can go into the kitchen and get a drink or something.”

Phil yelped. “I’m not leaving her alone!”

Dan laughed again and let himself fall into Phil. “One day we are going to figure out how to do this.” 

Phil nodded. “Yeah probably.” He glanced at his phone again. “It’s been five minutes. I think that is long enough.”

“Oh thank god.” Dan scooped her back up, and she shifted in his hands for a little before her eyes began to droop. “Sleep well little Clara.” Dan whispered as he stood up and put her to bed.  
*****************  
A week passed and everything was going fine. Until one night it wasn’t. Clara just would not stop crying. They held her, they fed her, they changed her, they rocked her, Dan played the piano and nothing happened. 

They called every mother they knew. All of them said, she might be sick, she might just be crying because that’s what babies do, or it might be colic. Either which way, they would have to wait and see. After what seemed like hours she calmed down. They were cautiously hopeful the next day, and it was fine until the evening when Clara started wailing again. 

Nearly every night for the next four weeks, she would cry for hours on end. It was awful. Colic was awful. They became excellent swaddlers, and their clothing was very clean, because the washing machine sounds soothed her slightly. She mostly cried at night, so in the mornings Dan and Phil would talk to her.

“Now Clara,” Dan was in the lounge, looking very carefully at her. “I know we’ve gone over this for the past two weeks, but tonight, tonight you will stop crying. You will go to sleep, and you will eat your food, and you will only cry when you need changing, not for five hours straight just for fun.”

Clara blinked and sucked contently on Dan’s pinky finger. She had dummy’s of course, but she had spit it onto the floor, and Phil was in the lounge doing a “Brunch Liveshow for People in Australia” or whatever he had tweeted to disguise his lack of night liveshows due to a wailing baby, that might be a little bit suspicious. 

Dan could hear Phil laugh about something and grinned. “I know Clara, we should turn on his liveshow up here.” Dan removed his hand and turned on the computer, clicking around to get to the liveshow. Clara gurgled in his lap. “One second C. and you can have my finger back.” He glanced down at her and smiled and she actually smiled back.

Dan shrieked. The liveshow had just loaded too, so he watched as Phil jerked his head upwards and glanced at the door.

Phil laughed. “Haha guys, I think that was Dan. He probably walked into the kitchen door again. Actually, let me go check one sec.” Phil vanished from the screen and Dan heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. 

“Is everything okay? What happened with Clara?”

“Look!” Dan positively beamed up at him. Phil walked over and looked at her.

“Yeah?”

Dan smiled and Clara smiled back. 

“She’s smiling!” Phil grinned. “Wait, let me try.” He blocked Dan’s face and smiled down at her and Clara smiled again, and made some cute little baby noise. “This is literally the best thing ever. It makes up for the non stop crying.”

Dan nodded. “Yeah.” He held her little hand. “Yeah it does.”

“I have to go finish my liveshow. What should I say?” Phil’s eyes didn’t leave Clara’s, as he smiled at her and made face after face. 

“Say I lost at Mario Cart.”

“You do make that exact shriek when you lose.” Phil grinned and walked towards the door.

“Hey!” Dan grumbled. He'd complain more, but he knew he had a tendency to shriek and shout rather loudly when losing, or winning, any video game.

Phil just laughed the whole way back to his liveshow.


	8. Parental Rights

Clara turned six months old. It was fall, and Halloween was near, and Phil was excited.

“Dan we get to dress her up!”

Dan grinned. “Yeah. I’m kind of excited.” He actually was.

“We should do matching costumes. Dan froze. He was now somewhat less excited. “Phil no.”

“Yes!” Phil bounced Clara up and down on his knee and she giggled happily. “See, little puke bear is all for it.”

“You have got to stop calling her that.” Dan grinned. “Also I just fed her squash and peas, so you might want to stop bouncing her.”

Phil slowed his bouncing and sighed. “I did stop calling her that, and then she puked on my IPhone. But what if we are three peas in a pod.”

“No way, I am not dressing up like food.”

“We could be three Pokémon.”

Dan hesitated on that one. “Well, maybe, but I’d want her to know what Pokémon were…Can we do something scary?”

“We could, but I want to dress her up in something cute and fluffy.”

“True. She is especially cute.” Dan swung her out of Phil’s lap and kissed her. “Come on C. Papa has to go edit a video.” Clara babbled. “I know, it’s true. He is behind on his work. Baaaad Papa. Lets go play some piano and read some stories hmm? Maybe you can go in your saucer.”  
*****************  
Phil had spent the past three days searching family Halloween costumes up online. When Dan came into the living room with Clara, he grinned. “I might have planned the next ten years of Halloween costumes.”

“Are you serious?” Dan asked as he sat down next to him.

“So this year, for both cute and scary, she can be a spider.”

“What?” Dan was doubtful, to say the least. 

“No look,” Phil turned his laptop towards Dan. "Look at this adorable little costume." 

“Oh crap, that’s the cutest thing ever.”

“Right!” Phil said gleefully. “We just wear black and buy some fake webs stuff, she’s the spider and we’re the spider web.”

“Alright.” Dan nodded. “But Phil, it’s not like we are taking her trick or treating. She doesn’t exactly have teeth.”

“Aren’t we going to Louise’s party?”

“What?” Clara flung herself from Dan onto Phil. Dan shifted and looked at Phil. “What party?”

“Did I not tell you? Louise is throwing a Halloween party. She invited us, said we could spend the night if we really need to. She said it would be good if we met other parents and that there’d be some babies for Clara. I told her yes.” Phil shrugged. “I swear we talked about this.”

Dan shrugged. He was pretty certain they had not talked about this. At least not when he was both conscious and focused. But maybe it would be good to interact with other babies. Plus, he was always up for making a fool of himself with Louise. “Yeah whatever.”

*****************  
Dan was cooking breakfast when he heard a shriek of excitement, followed by a thump, followed by a cry. He went into the living room and found Phil holding a sniffling Clara, sitting on a pile of blankets and pillows. “What is going on?”

“Dan!” Phil smiled so wide and Dan loved it so much. “She can sit!”

“Really!” Dan shrieked and ran towards them. 

“I mean, she fell over, but she totally sat up, all by herself! Look!” He rearranged the pillows and sat Clara down in the middle of them. Then he moved his hands away and she sat there, blinking at them. 

“She’s sitting.” Dan whispered. His little baby was sitting up. Dan grabbed a phone of the end table and flipped it to camera mode just as Clara went tipping over to the side. Phil picked her back up and stroked her back while Dan just kept grinning. “She sat! For like ten seconds too. That’s amazing.”

“She sat for longer that time too. Just wait, soon she won’t fall over at all.”

Dan leaned over and kissed Clara, then Phil. “Good job C.” He said happily. “Okay Phil, we have breakfast, then we need to make fake blood for the Halloween video.”

An hour later they were all fed and Dan was stirring some blood in the kitchen. Phil had scooped a little out, and Clara was playing with it in a bowl on the floor. “Dan, look, this is hysterical. She looks like a serial killer.”

“Oh my god Phil.” Dan looked down and cracked up. He laughed hysterically for at least five minutes. Clara was sitting in her diaper, covered in fake blood. She even had some in her mouth. 

Phil nodded. “Okay wait, I’m going to grab a camera. Watch her.” Phil left and came back, with the camera on record. Now Dan was sitting on the floor, his shirt covered in baby bloody handprints as well.

“Here we have Dan and Clara, after some good old fashioned Halloween cannibalism.” Dan laughed again, and this time tiny little giggles came out of Clara. Her laugh was quite possibly, the worlds cutest thing. 

Dan spoke to the camera. “We were getting ready to film a spooky video, but someone,” he said looking pointedly at Phil. “decide it would be a good idea to let Clara play with the blood.” A look flashed across his face. “Oh man, we sound like awful parents. It’s chocolate syrup and food dye and corn syrup.” Phil just snickered behind the camera. 

“You guys look amazing.” The doorbell rang. “Well, this a perfect time for someone to show up at our house.” Phil laughed again and turned off the camera. “I guess I’ll get it, since I’m the least bloody. I bet that’s her Halloween costume.”

He strolled downstairs and opened the door. Standing there was Annabelle, their social worker. “Oh Hi.” He smiled. “Are you um, here for another surprise check up or something?”

“Nope, I have some news though, regarding Clara’s case. Might I come in?”

Phil nodded automatically. “Of course.” Then he remembered what Dan and Phil were doing upstairs. “Oh, um, so we’re filming a video right now.”

Annabelle looked at him strangely. “Okay. I’ve seen a few of yours since you explained them. Very cute.”

“Right, except this one is for Halloween. So um, we were messing around with fake blood. It’s not what it looks like.” 

They walked into the kitchen and Dan’s head looked up. His jaw dropped and his looked like they were about to pop out of his head. “Annabelle, Hi.” He looked down at the very realistic blood over everything. “It’s fake, for Halloween. We might have gotten a little carried away, and like, don’t worry, it’s all food products, nothing bad for her, and we’re about to clean it up and have a bath.”

“Dan.” Annabelle interrupted. “It’s okay, Phil was explaining. “A little unusual.” She smiled. “But it’s nice to see parents involved with their kids and playing right along with them.” 

Dan blushed slightly and stood up, bring Clara with him. “Thanks.” He walked over to the sink and turned the water on. “We’ll try to clean up some.” He said as he put Clara under the water. “Are you here for a home visit? We have the documents from the classes we’ve been attending if you needed to have the originals.”

“No, I just have some updates on the case.” Dan froze at the sink. Phil walked over and held the hand that wasn’t holding Clara up.

“What would those be?”

“Well,” Annabelle smiled. “Enough time has passed without signs of the parents, so the parental rights have officially been terminated.” Dan grabbed Phil and hugged him tightly. 

“We get to keep her.” He whispered over and over again. Then he pulled himself off and wiped the tears from his face. 

Phil smiled and kept an arm wrapped tightly around him. He really hoped this meant what he thought this meant. “So we get to keep her?”

“Yes.” Annabelle nodded. “She is now officially open for adoption. I assume you two would like her.”

“Yes!” They nearly shouted at the same time.

“Great, that’s great. I figured you would say that, so I brought over some paperwork. Now, unfortunately this can’t be expedited, but since she is already in your care it shouldn’t take too many months.” Annabelle pulled out a stack of papers. “Is there anywhere I can put this that’s clean?”

“Of course.” Dan and Phil switched spots wordlessly and Dan led Annabelle towards the dinning room table. “Thank you so much.” He said. 

“Of course Dan. I have no doubts that the pair of you will make great parents.”


	9. The First Official Howell-Lester

Clara grew faster and faster. One day she was crawling. Neither Dan nor Phil knew she could crawl beyond her half attempts at wiggling a few inches forward, until they heard little wails coming from her bedroom. Phil had been in the shower, and Dan had put her down on a play mat and gone to prepare lunch. 

Phil thought he heard cries, so he stuck his head out of the shower. Then he definitely heard cries so he turned off the water. Then he heard Dan’s hysterically laughter, so he stopped panicking and walked over to Clara’s room. He didn’t actually see her, just Dan sitting next to the crib, nearly crying he was laughing so hard. 

“What is going on?” Phil sat down next to him. Then a little leg kicked out from under the crib. “Is our baby under the crib?”

“She’s st-stuck” Dan managed to sputter out. 

“DAN!” Phil shook his head. “You’re just laughing at her.”

“No no no.” Dan said as he tried to calm down. “Look at her.”

Phil leaned over and looked under the crib. Lying on her back, with a red, tear soaked faced was Clara. She was covered in dust and dirt, and surrounded by at least five dummies and three loose socks, one of which was definitely theirs. He looked at Dan and couldn’t help it. He laughed. “How did that happen?”

“Well, our little genius got herself stuck.” Dan laughed again. “She is stuck under the crib because she went searching for a dummy. Have we ever even cleaned under there?”

“Well…no.” Phil laughed. “I can’t believe she got stuck under her crib. Honestly little puke bear.” He shook his head at her and she just blinked at him. “Oh god, I don’t even recognize the dummy in her mouth. How old is that? It must be so dirty.”

Dan had finally stopped laughing. “Wait Phil, I had her all the way over there.” He said pointing to the opposite corner of the room. “She crawled!”

Phil’s eyes widened. “Yes!” He hugged Dan. “She can crawl!”

Dan grinned. “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or scold you little genius.”

Clara whimpered from under the bed. “Alright,” Dan grinned. “I’m just going to grab a camera to document this, then we’ll free you.” 

Phil talked softly to Clara until the door swung open again and Dan waltzed through. “And in your room Clara, we have an interesting site. And it’s not just Phil sitting on the floor in a towel.”

“Da-aaan.” Phil glared at him with a smile as down sat down. He placed the camera on the floor so you could see Clara underneath the bed. 

“As you can see, Clara, you are underneath the bed. This is part good news and part bed news. Phil,” Dan picked up the camera and swung it back to Phil. “The good news…”

“You can crawl!!” He reached for the camera and turned it to Dan. “The bad news however…”

“You managed to get stuck under your crib little genius.” Dan laughed again. “The other bad news is that apparently we haven’t cleaned under there in oooh eight and a half months.”

Phil turned the camera towards himself. “However, as you can see you found some of the lost dummies. Apparently, you were on a mission to reclaim the things you once threw under the crib.” 

He put the camera down, facing Clara under the bed. “Alright Dan, you lift, I’ll grab little puke bear, we’ll go shower, and you can clean under here.”

Dan lifted the bed and Clara rolled over and was free. Under the light she was even dirtier. Dan picked up the camera and pointed it at her, now sitting in Phil’s lap. He laughed again. “It is so dirty under there.” 

Phil just grinned. “We’re the best parents ever, right Clara?” Clara just cooed happily.  
*****************  
Dan and Phil had enrolled Clara in some baby classes. Louise had suggested it, and then Phil spent the entire night on the Internet and came to the conclusion that it would be really good for her ‘development and socialization Dan’

Phil took her to a swim class, and Dan took her to a music and rhythm class. Phil would use the hour alone to work on videos, and Dan would use his to host his live show, since the swim class was in the evening. About once a month, they would both go to the class. 

It never worked out. When Dan came to swim class, he would cannonball into the water, swim laps underwater and pop up right in front of Phil and Clara and generally make a ruckus. Clara of course, loved it. To be honest, Phil didn’t mind either, because it was so cute to watch the two of them splash around in the water. The instructor however, would spend the whole time glaring at Dan, and ask Phil if he could keep him away, please. 

When Phil went to music class, he would often dance around and sing. He was very good at participating. The only problem was sometimes he would forget to help Clara participate, and other times he would fall over dancing and nearly crush a child. Dan also made a mom friend called Laura, who had two kids of her own. When Phil was there, Dan and Laura would occasionally sneak off to the back of the room to gossip and cackle with each other, leaving Phil in charge of three kids. So mostly, they stuck to their own activities. 

Luckily, when Clara was very nearly eleven months old, they were both going to baby swim class. Dan was stretching goggles over his face and Phil was changing Clara because she managed to wet her swim diaper right before class started when the phone rang. 

Dan frowned and picked it up. 

It was Annabelle. “Hello?” Dan asked nervously. Phil looked up concerned, as he tried to pull the bathing suit back on the squirming Clara. Annabelle Dan mouthed at him. 

Phil stood up and grabbed Dan’s hand. This was either very good news, or something had gone wrong. Because for nearly the past year they have had this wonderful little baby girl, and she wasn’t theirs. Phil tried not to think about it often, but every now and then he get lost in his thoughts that really, she could be taken away at any moment. 

“Are you serious?” He heard Dan whisper into the phone. The grip on Phil’s hand grew tighter. “Yes, February 8th works perfectly….thank you…bye.” Dan hung up. “We have an official adoption court date.” He managed to say before falling on the ground in tears. 

Phil sat down next to him. They held each other, and squeezed Clara tight, both of them with tears running down their faces. 

“Dada.” Clara said wiping her hands on their faces. “Papa?” Her little voice sounded so concerned. Her babbling had turned into a little more concrete words and associations a few weeks ago and Dan and Phil loved it. She also said ba for bottle and mooy for her favorite stuffed monkey. 

“Sorry Clara girl.” Dan hugged her tightly and then let her loose. “We’re just very happy.”

“Yeah, these aren’t sad tears.” Phil added. He stood up and held out a hand for Dan. “You don’t understand this now but we get to keep you forever.”

*****************  
The two weeks passed and the day had arrived. Dan and Phil put on suits and dressed Clara in this frilly little flower dress that was, according to Dan, the cutest thing in existence. 

They decided Clara’s birthday would be March 2nd. It was within two days of that, but they hated that they couldn’t be sure. Dan and Phil were going to combine her first birthday party with the officially adopted party, but their families were there and they were going to go out to a celebratory dinner after. 

The judged smiled down at them, as they stood in front of her, holding Clara tight. “Well, it seems everything is in order. You’ve had her for 11 months correct?”

“Yes.” Phil said.

“Now you’ll have her forever.” She signed a piece of paper and slammed the gavel lightly. “Congratulations gentlemen and congratulations to you Clara Isabelle Howell-Lester.”


	10. The Year of One

Clara’s first birthday was quite the event. 

“Dan, I think we went a little overboard.” Phil said holding Clara as they looked around the space they had rented. One corner was filled with baby gym equipment and other soft things for them to play with. There was a small ball pit set up, as well as corner filled with toys and stuffed animals. There were balloons and streamers everywhere. Then there were table set out, and a huge buffet against one wall. There was a cotton candy machine, music, and a small section that set up like a photo booth, complete with props. 

Dan just shrugged. “Next year will be more normal, but this is an official adoption and first birthday party, plus we invited a bunch of people without kids so they need something to do too.”

“Uh-huh.” Phil set Clara down and she crawled off towards the toys. “Next year we are doing something smaller.”

Dan grinned. “Of course Phil.” He didn’t mean it, this was their baby girl after all, but he figured he had a year to subtly convince Phil otherwise. 

Everyone began to arrive. Clara was in baby heaven. Dan and Phil barely saw her, she was being passed around by friends and family so much, or trying to keep up with the whirlwind of kids running around. 

They managed to snatch her up for some shots in the photobooth. Dan’s favorite involved Clara looking utterly confused wearing a sparkling purple top hat that was just about to fall over her eyes, Phil with a rainbow Mohawk wig mid laugh, and Dan with giant glasses and the biggest grin on his face. He made a mental note to get that framed. Then it was time for the cake. 

They all sang happy birthday and Clara watched them all, unsure of what to do. Then Dan and Phil blew out the candle for her. The cake got taken away to be cut, and they gave Clara one of the cupcakes to eat instead. 

She promptly threw it off the high chair.

Dan cracked up. ”Did she just reject sweets?”

“Our child can’t not have a sweet tooth!” Phil grabbed another cupcake. “I mean, does she not know what we live off of?” He placed another cupcake on her tray. Clara eyed it suspiciously.

“Wait Phil,” Dan pulled out his camera. “She’s never had cake before, I want to get her reaction.” He turned on the camera and Clara promptly flung that one to the floor instead. Dan cackled and turned the camera to a confused looking Phil.

“Perhaps, she does not understand the deliciousness that is birthday cake.” He grabbed a third cupcake and set on the tray. Then he broke off a piece and put it in his mouth, complete with over-exaggerated signs of joy. Clara watched him slowly and then wrapped her little hands around a piece of cupcake. She put it to her mouth slowly and her eyes widened. Then she grabbed the whole thing and tried to shove it into her mouth. Dan just laughed hysterically behind the camera.

“Yup, there’s our kid.”

*****************

In early May their landlord came around with a new rent agreement. Dan and Phil took it and said they’d let him know by the end of the week. They both separated and thought for a few days and then reconvened late one night. 

“Okay.” Phil had the lease in front of him, along with a notebook filled with notes and little folder. 

“Oh god, you brought your planning folder.” Dan groaned and curled into Phil’s side on the couch. “What’s in there?”

“Well,” Phil hesitated. “What were you thinking?”

Dan sighed. “I love this flat.” He said. “We really made it our home for years. Like, we have so many memories in here…but it’s busy and loud, and we could use more space with Clara and…yeah…” He trailed off and glanced upwards to Phil. Phil had a grin on his face.

“That’s what I thought too.” He grabbed his folder. “I have a list of some areas close by, that have easy access to London city proper for our meetings and whatnot, but allow for a little more…quiet.” He sighed and looked around the room. “This place though.”

“Yeah.” Dan nodded. He loved this flat. They loved this flat. It had seen them through radio shows, and hosting awards shows, and as they had gained their next two, three, four million subscribers. It had been where they launched their gaming channel and wrote a book and played endless hours of video games, and cooked together and slept together and had new years eve parties with their friends together. It was the Dan and Phil flat. It was where they laughed and cried and scared themselves silly. Most importantly, it was where they found Clara. 

Dan sighed and hugged Phil tightly for a second. “Let me see the folder.” He sat up and opened it and they began to work their way through the info Phil had found. They got their laptops and had a million tabs open as they tried to, at the very least, narrow it down some. 

*****************  
They spent the first part of the month of July packing up their flat, and the second part of July unpacking their house. Clara was perfectly content to walk her waddling walk around them as they packed up box after box. She was less happy, when they got to some of her favorite toys. 

Dan and Phil had made extra sure to take photos of every room from every angle before they left. They had gotten their house two days before they had to be out of their apartment, so they had most of their stuff there already. Their flat was eerily empty, but Dan and wanted to spend one last night there. Clara was asleep in a pack n play in their room. They were in Dan’s room that had turned Clara’s sitting on the piano bench. The piano had to stay apparently, so they had bought a different one for their house. 

Dan strummed his fingers over the piano. “Fuck, I’m going to miss this place.”

“Me too Bear.” Phil leaned his head on Dan’s shoulder. “Remember when we bought it?”

“Yeah.” Dan turned to look Phil directly in the eyes. “God, we were young.”

“Young and stupid and broke.” Phil smiled. “But look where we are now. We’ve done so much Dan.”

Dan smiled. “Yeah…" he laughed, "we’re still kind of stupid sometimes.”

Phil laughed. “Yeah, yeah we are.” He looked around the room slowly. “Okay, do you want to film one last video here? We do some horror thing, since it’s so empty.” He turned back to Dan. “Or we can just film goodbye.”

Dan nodded. “It will probably end up being both.” He closed the short space between them and kissed Phil. “Let’s say goodbye.”  
*****************  
The new house worked for them. Clara spent the first month ignoring all of her toys, and happily playing with the boxes they had packed all their stuff in. Dan and Phil also played. They painted them and colored them and added props and turned the boxes into castles and rockets and pirate ships. They filmed their adventures and made a video called the cardboard adventures, but they couldn’t bring themselves to make it public.

The house slowly became a home as it filled with more of their things. Halloween came and Clara had just enough hair to pull into pigtails, so they went as Boo, Sully, and Mike Wyzowski and everyone agreed it was the cutest thing ever. 

Clara’s hair was wavy and wild, and Phil spent way too much time watching hair tutorials so he could learn how to do Clara’s hair. Every morning she would sit on her floor, babbling away to Phil in a language he only half understood, while he brushed her hair and did it up in some fancy way. 

In November they went on a date. There was a teenage girl down the block. She was huge fan of Dan and Phil and had nearly burst into tears when she realized they had moved in so close to her. Then she really cried when she realized that had a baby girl with them, who clutched their legs tightly and called them Dada and Papa. Like they had the few other times they ran into fans they asked if they could please not mention the child if they talked about meeting them. The girl listened, like all the others have. 

The only problem was she was an actual neighbor, so she swung by at least once a week, offering baked goods, asking how their work was going, recommending tumblr blogs, or offering to play with Clara. She reminded them every time that she was available to babysit if they ever need. So finally they took her up on the offer. 

“So,” Phil grinned at Dan across the table. “It’s been a while since we went on a proper date.”

“Nah,” Dan shook his head. “Wait…maybe.” He thought back on it. It had been a while. It didn’t seem like it thought, since they spent most days together. When they had had family watch Clara, it was for things like the radio show or other work things not suited for a baby. “Okay fine, it’s been a while.” He laughed softly. “Having a teenager four houses down does have its benefits.”

Phil smiled. “She really is a sweet girl.” 

“Yeah.” Dan nodded and they went off and were able to talk, really talk. They accidently sat at the restaurant an hour longer then they said because they were enjoying themselves so much. 

“Okay,” They were walking back to their car to head home. They had their arms wrapped tightly around each other’s waists and were just happy. “We need to schedule in more dates.”

Phil just kissed him in reply.


	11. Little Snapshots

Clara’s second party was in fact much smaller than her first. This was mostly due to the fact that Phil booked a place with a cap on the number of people that could attend. It was a little extravagant, according to all their parent friends. They just had to have a face painter and toys of all types, and really it wasn’t their fault they had an actually radio 1 DJ down to play music and rock the game of free dance. Grimmy insisted he see these “two buffoons be actual parents” 

The one thing that Dan noticed when looking around the room is that the party was so much more kid. “Is this what all our parties are going to be like now?” Dan asked

Phil grinned beneath the tiger he had painted on his face. “Yup.” 

“It’s kind of perfect though.” Dan said as he looked around the room. It was the kind of fun he would have once made fun of, but it was actually fun. Clara was so happy, and that made him so happy, so really the overly kid focused party for his kid was okay. It was more than okay really, it was wonderful. 

*****************  
Dan and Phil and Clara on the train back from visiting some friends when a fan stopped them to say hi. Naturally, she asked who the little girl was. They went over their little spiel, only this time, Clara seemed aware of what was happening. Phil didn’t like that. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal when she was a baby, but now she was two and talking and listening. That night, when he and Dan were laying on the couch rewatching American Horror Story he mentioned it. 

“You know, Clara is going to realize what we’re saying to our fans soon.” Dan lifted his head off Phil’s chest. 

“Oh, do you think she’ll think it’s weird we have people come up to us randomly?” Dan frowned. “I mean, that’s not common for a kid. Maybe I’ll ask Louise. Darcy has turned out lovely.”

“Right.” Phil paused. “But Dan, what is she going to think if we keep telling people to keep her a secret. What if she thinks she’s bad and needs to be hidden or we don’t want her or something?”

Dan reached out and stroked Phil’s cheek. “Are you worried about that? I think we show her we love her well. Where’d this come from?”

“I just noticed on the train, she was alert and listening to what we said. I know we love her. But like, she’s already been abandoned once, I don’t want her to think we’re ashamed of her.” 

Dan nodded. He would do anything, anything for Clara. He’d move to Antartica or quit YouTube or jump in front of a moving bus. “Well, what do you think we should do then?”

“I don’t know.” Phil sighed. Dan’s head fell back on his chest and he played absentmindedly with his hair. “Perhaps we should start mentioning her a little? Our viewers can be respectful.”

“Yeah like all the ones who shouted at us to have sex when we were on stage during the tour.”

“Well, most of them Bear.” Phil sighed as Dan snuggled in tighter.

“Yeah I know…maybe we could do a day in the life of Dan and Phil and Clara.”

“How much of her do we want to show?” Phil thoughts were racing. They needed to keep her safe of course, that was most important. But if they didn’t show enough people would go a little crazy trying to dig for information. “We can say her name or call her C. Obviously we won’t talk about her adoption details. Should we show her face? We can blur it out, so some artsy shots. Or I suppose we can only tell stories, not show her at all”

“Phil breathe.” Dan rubbed Phil’s arm slowly. “I’m going to talk to youtubers we know with kids, but most of them have channels that are parenting channels, and I don’t think I want that.”

“No.” Phil agreed. “Maybe a few videos, but that’s not what we’ve ever really done.”

“We can just call her C. perhaps. Her name will probably get out eventually, but if we pretend they don’t know and they pretend they don’t know it will be okay.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah, that works. Her face?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let’s just sleep on it.”

*****************  
That summer they filmed A Day in the Life of Dan and Phil and C. They had decided, for now, not to show the full front of her face. They’d see how things went, and proceed from there. 

The morning started with Phil’s usual stretch and sleepy voice into the camera. “So today, we’re filming a very special day in the life! Dan I believe, is making breakfast, so I’m going to go check on C.”

The camera moved down the hallway towards a door. Phil opened it to show a room that was so undeniably little girl. There was a crib directly when the door opened, and above it was a little mobile that had zoo animals. The camera panned past a low bookshelf to a pile of toys in the corner. Sitting in the middle, with her back facing the camera was Clara. 

“As you can see, someone has recently begun throwing herself out of her crib, and playing with toys. She’s really too big for her crib anyway, so to make today interesting we are going to go buy a big girl bed.” Phil turned the camera on himself. “Did we mention we have a daughter?”

The camera cut to Dan in the kitchen, chopping up some fruit. “We’re having some fruit and porridge and sausage for breakfast.” He looked at Phil and grinned. “And some coffee before someone falls over.”

They’re in the car now, and the radio is playing. The camera is attached showing Dan driving, Phil in the passenger seat and a pair of tiny feet and a carseat in the background. One Direction starts to play and they start to sing along, doing some awkward car dances. You can even hear Clara’s little voice singing some of the words from the back. 

Dan leapt onto a racecar bed and shrieked. “I can be an F1 driver!” He sat there and turned the steering wheel, and made a little zooming sounds. 

“C is unimpressed.” He panned the camera down and showed Clara walking over to the bunk beds. She reached her tiny hand up to the ladder.

“Whoa no.” The camera jiggled as Phil jogged over. “No climbing up ladders yet.” He picked her up and turned the camera back to Dan, who was still in the car bed. “Do you like the car bed?”

“NO” Clara shouted. She wiggled out of his arms and ran over to Dan. “Dada no.” She said grabbing at his arm. Dan allowed himself to be pulled from the bed, and let Clara lead him around the room. 

Phil laughed from behind. “This might take a while.” 

The next clip showed a wooden twin bed, with flowers carved into the headboard. “We’re going to this one.” Dan’s voice said as the camera panned over it. “Phil’s with C in the car, because this went a little too long, and it’s past lunchtime, so she broke down a little. I’m just paying and then we’ll head home. Someone needs a nap.” He turned the camera on himself and grinned. “Well, actually we all need a nap.”

After that there was a series of short clips. Clara chasing Phil around in the grass of their back yard, Dan trying to turn a little plastic fork of broccoli into an airplane, Phil getting headband placed carefully on his head, and Dan reading a story next to a little figure tucked under the covers. 

“So that’s our day in the life these days.” They were sitting in their living room, smiling at the camera. “We hope you enjoyed it. We know it was a little different then our past ones.”

Dan laughed. “We hope none of you had heart attacks.”

Phil grinned. “Yeah, we kind of sprung that on you guys. We’d really like to thank the fans who found out and kept C a secret. It’s because of that we feel comfortable sharing a little bit with her. That being said, please don’t take photos of her, and respect the limit we put on her image and name being used or not used. We’re still trying to figure out what we are comfortable sharing, but we know we want to show the most important thing in our life.” 

“Thanks.” Dan smiled. “Now I’m going to go edit this. Bye” They waved to the camera, and the video ended.


	12. How to Grownup

Phil’s pride in joy in their house, besides Dan and Clara, was his garden. The previous spring they had been there for less than a year, and he attempted some little changes and some planting. This year though, he had a plan. 

“You are not digging a freaking pond Phil.”

“But Dan.”

“No.”

“Dan.” Phil whined. He really wanted a pond in the back corned of their yard. It would have been so cute. He was going to add fish. Plus, it would be a great talking point. 

“Come on Phil.” Dan had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. 

Phil sighed. “Fine, you get one veto.” Phil smirked as he watched Dan tense. 

“One?”

“One.”

Dan hesitated, trying to think of what other schemes Phil could possibly come up with. He also knew, if he really really needed to, he could get a second veto. “Fine, I use it on the pond.”

“Fine.” Phil smiled and walked away. 

The next weekend a delivery came. Dan signed for it, and then literally couldn’t move the box from the front entry. 

“Phil” He shouted as he walked into their bedroom. “Wake up you spoon.” He shoved his shoulder. “What the hell did you order? I can’t move the box.”

Phil shot up. “They’re here!” He responded gleefully. Dan did not like that tone at all. He followed after Phil as Phil practically sprinted down the stairs and went to open the box. Dan peered over his shoulder. They box was literally filled with blocks of cement.

“Did you buy cement?”

“They’re paving stones Bear.” Phil turned around and faced Dan. “We can make a path in the backyard, use these, and maybe as a border…plus, I order a few of those make your own, I figured we could all do our handprints in them and add them to the garden.” 

Dan groaned, damn Phil and his thoughtfulness, he couldn’t help but love that man. “That sounds amazing.”

Phil smiled. “Yup. We just have to move them all to the backyard.”

“I think I’ll go get Clara. We can watch some more Phineas and Ferb.”

“No fair.” Phil pouted. “I love that show.” 

Dan kissed him. “I didn’t order a million pounds of cement Love.” Dan sauntered upstairs to his daughter, and left Phil clanking around downstairs. 

*****************  
As much as Dan hated to admit it, the backyard was coming along nicely. Plus, Clara loved to help out with it. Phil would be puttering around outside with hedge trimmers or a spade or a watering can, and Clara would trot after him. They had to buy her her own kid version of gardening tools and gloves so she could properly help. She couldn’t carry the watering can yet, but she did everything else. 

Today, they were spreading mulch. They as in Phil and Clara, Dan was sitting in a lounge chair, sipping lemonade and tweeting and then responding to the very cute photo and Clara and Phil sitting in a pile of dirt, spreading it around, that he had just posted. 

“Dad!” Clara ran over and climbed onto his lap. Dan shut his laptop and put it down. 

“Yes?”

“You help me and Papa.” Dan hesitated, looking at the absolute dirt covered child on his lap. Then he glanced at the equally covered Phil by the flower plot. He honestly didn’t know how a grown man could be so messy. “P-wease?” Clara asked and Dan knew he couldn’t say anything but yes. Thankfully, he was technically wearing Phil’s shirt.

After they were all sufficiently dirty, the mulch was spread out and everything looked perfect. 

“We should do our hand prints before we get clean!” Phil ran inside to get the molds before Dan could even say anything. He came back and they got to work mixing the cement. Each of them had their own little mold. Dan and Phil could each only fit one hand in comfortable, but they made sure to push both of Clara’s in. She was growing so fast, and they wanted to capture her handprint, age 3. 

Then they got to decorate with little stones and jewels and pieces of a broken plate Phil had been saving because he “saw it online Dan.”

Dan and Clara reached for a shiny pink jewel at the same time. Dan frowned at her and Clara frowned back. 

“Mine.” Dan said very seriously. 

“Mine.” Clara looked up at Dan. “P-wease Dada?” 

Phil snickered besides them. She had Dan wrapped around her finger and she knew it. 

“I know.” Dan continued in his very serious, mostly fake, put on voice. “Whoever can make the scariest face on the count of three gets the stone.” Clara nodded. “1…2…3”

Dan and Clara both contorted their faces. In Phil’s opinion, they looked absolutely adorable and not the least bit scary.

“Oh my.” Dan stopped and returned to his regular face. “You are just too scary Clara. You win the jewel.”

“Ha!” Clara exclaimed as she grabbed the little piece and shoved it into her tile. “All done!”

Dan picked her out of the chair. “Perfect Clara. Let’s go have a bath. You smell yucky!”

“No, you smell Dada.”

“No that’s definitely you.” Phil laughed as he cleaned everything up and listened to their back and forth bickering as it went into the house. 

*****************

That fall, Clara was to start preschool. Clara was, predictably, the one most excited and most ready for the event. They were walking through the store, looking at tiny little backpacks and Dan was trying to hold back a sniffle.

“Monkey!” Clara shrieked running to one of the backpacks. She turned to the next one. “Monster, butterfly, rainbow, trucks, spotty, cupcakes…ladybug.” She turned to her Dad’s. “I want ladybug.”

Phil bent down next to her and picked up the ladybug backpack. “This is the one you want?”

“Yes Papa.”

“Not that very cool monster.” He pointed to the monster backpack, complete with little horns. 

“Phil!”

“No Papa.”

“All Right.”

Two days later, they went to preschool. The teacher was very nice. Dan and Phil loved her. She was young and fun and seemed full of life and energy. The room was bright and cheery, and filled with books and toys. The first day, parents were allowed to bring their child too the classroom. Clara clutched Phil’s leg, and hid behind him. 

“Come on Clara, lets go read a story.” So they went over to the books and read a short little book. “Time for Daddies to go now.”

“No!” Clara flung herself at them and burst into tears. Phil looked at Dan helplessly. What were they supposed to do?

“We’ll be back in just a few hours.” Dan said, crouching down to rub Clara’s back. “You are going to have so much fun playing with your new friends, and on the playground. Did you see the kitchen over there?”

“Noooo.” Clara cried, burying herself further into them. The teacher came over. 

“Why hello there Miss. Clara. Are you worried about your Dads’ leaving?”

Clara nodded her little head. 

“Well, here’s what we are going to do. Your Dads will give you a hug and a kiss goodbye, then they are going to leave.” She said that part looking very carefully at Dan and Phil. “Then, we are going to have so much fun today!” 

Clara sniffled. Dan and Phil each hugged and kissed her and left. They could hear her cry again in the hallway and it was awful. 

“I need to get coffee.” Dan muttered, nearly running out the building. He hated this. He also knew, chances were, she would love preschool. That and they really needed a few hours a day of time to keep up on work and household things, that had admittedly been going at a slow yet rushed pace the past three years. They didn’t actually get any work done that day. They just sat in Starbucks, nervously jiggling their legs and checking their phones in case the school called. 

Finally, time came to pick her up. They went to the school and she came running out and flew into their arms. Then she shoved a little piece of paper into their hands. 

“Look what I made!”

“Wow Clara, that’s amazing.”

“Nice Monkey.” Phil had taken to calling her monkey, after she called herself little puke bear one day when she was two. 

“They had play-doh and dollies and I played with Emmy and Harrison and another person but I don’t know their name.”

“That’s okay. You can learn it tomorrow.”

“I have to go back?” Clara asked.

“Yeah.” Phil said slowly. He really needed her to be okay with it, to not cry again. 

“That’s okay, it was fun.” She chattered on about her day and Dan and Phil sighed in relief. This was going to be okay.

*****************  
In early October Clara’s teacher called her in for a meeting. Phil just laughed after he got off the phone. “Oh my god, Dan, when did we get old enough for parent-teacher conferences?”

“Phil, you’re in your thirties.” Dan smirked. “Unlike, my youthful, twenties glow. Some say I’ve barely aged.”

Phil snorted. “Yeah, because you didn’t finish puberty until you were 22.” Dan pouted. “And don’t pretend 30 isn’t right around the corner for you.”

“Hey!” Dan put on an over-exaggerated pout. 

“Want a kiss to feel better?”

“Yes.” 

“You big baby.” Phil muttered. He kissed him anyway.

The meeting with Clara’s teacher made them more nervous then they should. “Clara is a lovely child.” Her teacher began.

“She plays so nicely with others, and is such a good sharer.”

Phil nodded. “Oh good, we believe that is very important.”

“It is. She’s very kind, and very imaginative in her play. I haven’t seen that many unique things come up in play before.”

“That’s Phil.” Dan said with a grin. Phil had spent the past three and a half years teaching their child to think outside the box.

The teacher smiled. “It really makes the classroom fun. However, she seems to be struggling a bit with physical tasks, and fine motor skills.”

Dan bit his lip, and Phil frowned. “What do mean?”

“Well, on the playground, she runs a wee bit slower, gets tired a little faster. She struggles a bit holding a crayon, or with slightly heavier objects. I think it might be a bit of low muscle tone. It’s nothing to severe or noticeable of course, you really just see it when she’s around so many other kids.”

“Low muscle tone?” Dan repeated, trying to wrap his brain around this.

“Yes,” The teacher nodded. “Was she a preemie by any chance? It’s very common with those.”

“We’re not sure.” Phil answered. “She’s adopted, so we don’t know the circumstances of her birth.”

“That’s all right.” The teacher said with smiled. “Really, its nothing too serious, I would talk to her pediatrician about it, perhaps get her into some physical or occupational therapy. She just needs to work on the muscles a little bit.”

Dan nodded numbly. How could he have not noticed this. Looking back now, it seemed so obvious. She always asked to get picked up if they were walking a while, she could never carry the watering can to help Phil in the garden. He had just thought it was because she was so little. He felt Phil grab his hand and turned to him. Phil smiled.

“Thank you.” Phil said to the teacher. 

“Of course, Clara is really a wonderful child, socially and academically, she is right on target. She has a bit of an advanced vocabulary actually.” They nodded and said their goodbyes and left, holding each other’s hands.

“So.” Phil began as they walked to their car.

“So,” Dan sighed. “How did we miss that?”

“I don’t know. But it’s fine. We’ll get her the therapy she needs, and it will be fine.”

“Right.” Dan nodded. “Of course.” It really would be fine. She would get the help she needed, and be able to keep up with her classmates. It’s not like they had grand Olympic plans for her. 

“But, Dan, did you hear her teacher. She’s the most creative in her class.”

“Yeah, I was there too.” Dan grinned and looked at Phil. He was absolutely beaming. “I blame you for that.”

“I know.” Phil kept smiling. “It’s great. She’s great. You are great.”


	13. Happy Holidays

It was that time of year again. The holiday baking video. This time though, they had a special guest in the form of one Clara Isabelle Howell-Lester. 

Clara hadn’t actually appeared in a video since the day in the life. There had been a few tweets or photos on instagram or funny stories in liveshows, but not a full video. Dan and Phil knew that their baking videos were considered some of their best, and hoped fans would be okay with the new edition. Besides, the cupcakes they were making were going to Clara’s teachers and therapist, so really, she had to help out. 

The first camera, the professional one, was positioned facing the counter, with Clara sitting on the counter, her back towards the camera. The second was propped up awkwardly giving a side view of the setup, so they could see more details. It could easily be picked up for some close-ups. 

The video started, with Dan and Phil, and the top of a little Santa Clause hat poking above the counter. 

“As you can see, we have a very special guest helping us today. We’re making two dozen cupcakes, half chocolate and half vanilla, mostly for C’s teachers. Right C?”

“Right.” A little voice said. Dan picked her up and placed her on the counter. 

“There, now everyone can reach!”

They went over the ingredients with their usual throwing of things into the air. Clara accidently threw the chocolate bar at Phil’s face. Phil yelped and Dan laughed hysterically and a tiny voice said sorry. Then they began to mix things together. 

“It’s egg cracking time, yeah yeah yeah yeah.” Dan sang. 

“Now, everyone will get an egg, and C will get her own special bowl.” 

“Okay, count to three and smack that egg.”

“Dan!”

“A-One and a two and a three.” Three eggs cracked in rapid succession. Dan and Phil each cracked one more into the actual bowls in a quick second. The moveable camera moved to Clara’s bowl, the countertop and her leg. There was egg on the counter and in the bowl, and shell on the counter and in the bowl. 

“I do it!”

“Good Job!” Dan said. Then he turned the camera towards his face and lowered his voice to a whisper. “As you can see, C needs her own bowl for…reasons. If anyone out there knows of a preschool egg cracking school, we are in desperate need. This can’t go on for much longer.”

“DAN!”

*****************

Christmas morning started a little earlier than expected, as Clara came running into their room at four in the morning. 

“Wake Up” She shrieked as she jumped up and down on top of them.

“Oh god.” Phil mumbled.

“Clara.” Dan tapped his hand around trying to find her. Then she jumped on him and her knee landed right next to his crotch. He swung up and grabbed her. “Clara, why are you awake?”

“IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!” She shouted. 

“Right, Clara, Father Christmas is still working, so we need to go to sleep for a little longer.” Phil said firmly.

“But Papa.”

“No. We are sleeping longer. Do you want to go back to your room our stay with us?”

“Here.” Clara flung herself onto the bed and flipped and turned until she had a foot jammed on Phil’s spine and an elbow in Dan’s rib. Then she promptly fell asleep. 

“Great idea Phil.” Dan muttered. 

“How long do you think she’ll sleep?” Phil whispered as his eyes drooped shut.

“Hour if we’re lucky.”

The next time Clara woke up it was 6:12. Dan practically fell out of bed as he went to stand. 

“Okay Clara, wait here a second…Wake Papa up.”

“I’m up!” Phil nearly shouted as he leapt up right before Clara launched herself at him. The little girl might have been small, but she could hit hard when going at full speed. He rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses. “Are you excited Monkey?”

Clara’s eyes were bright and sparkling. “Yes!” 

“Wait here just one second.”

“Come down.” Dan called from their living room. He had been setting up a camera so they could capture Clara’s face when she saw her presents. Clara and Phil came running down the stairs and rounded the corned into the living room. Clara’s mouth dropped open. 

“He came!” She darted over to the where the cookies and milk was. “Oh good, he didn’t forget his food.” Then she ran to the tree. “Are these all for me?” She asked breathlessly. 

“Some are for me and Daddy.” Phil said, sitting down next to her. “Now, what should we open first?”

They worked their way through their presents at what seemed like warp speed. Clara got a kid sized indoor trampoline, a football, and a yoga mat, all for the sake of her exercises for her therapy. She got a giant stuffed monkey for her room, it was bigger then she was, and the new Adele CD and the board game Candyland. Then she got some doll that was all the rage, some real clothing and some dress-up clothing, and some play-doh. 

Clara had been allowed to pick out her own presents for her parents, so Phil got the toddler sized monster backpack and Dan got pink sparkly earrings. Dan put them in right away and Phil loved him even more. 

They made pancakes and then went off to parents and grandparents and all the relatives’ houses for the next few days. The days whirled by at warp speed and then as quickly as it came, Christmas was over.  
*****************

After the holiday rush they were back in their house. Dan and Phil were in their bed reading and video planning, when a little knock sounded on their door.

“Yes?” Dan asked, looking curiously at Phil. Clara had never knocked on their door. She had a great tendency to barge right in. 

Clara came through the door. She stopped below their bed with a very serious look on her face. 

“Can we help you?” Phil asked. He was trying to be serious, but she looked so cute with her little frown. 

“I thought a question.”

“Okay.”

“Christmas is over?”

“Yes.”

Well, well…” She looked everywhere but them and bit her lip. “You know how Harrison’s mom haved a baby?”

Dan’s eyes nearly fell out of his head. This was going to end to badly. He was not prepared for this. Phil on the other hand just patted the bed. “Why don’t you come sit up here?” He swung her up onto the bed. “What exactly are you asking Monkey?”

“Harrison’s mommy had a baby, and I wanted a baby brother or sister and Harrison said it take awhile to get here but I’ve been asking for so long and I thought it would come at Christmas but it didn’t come and I want to know why. Also Harrison wanted to know which one of you would have the baby in your stomach because he said only his mom can not his dad, but I have two dads.”

“Well first of all, you know how you are adopted?” Phil asked. He knew they had gone over this time and time again. He had read about adoptive families doing adoption parties or something of the sort. Maybe they should start doing something like that. He had thought she understood. 

“Yes.” Clara hesitated. “You picked me because you loved me most.”

“Right,” Dan nodded. “Right, because Harrison is right, only Mommies can have babies in their tummy’s, so if two Daddies want a baby, they get to go and pick one out just for them.”

“Where do those babies come from?”

“Well…if a Mommy can’t take care of a baby, she loves her baby very much, and decides her baby would get all the things a baby needs if she lived with another family. So the Mommy gives away the baby so the baby can find the family she was supposed to have.”

“Oh.” Clara frowned and curled up onto Dan’s lap. “But then will the baby just be dropped off like me? I checked the door but there’s never been a baby.”

“No, that was extra special!” Phil smiled. Now her weird door opening habit made sense. “Did you want to be a big sister?”

“Yes.”

“Oh,” Dan stroked her hair. “Well, Me and Papa would have to talk about it some more.”

“Would it still take awhile?”

“Yeah.”

“But I want one now.”

Dan sighed. “Well, we can get a new baby right now, be we’ll talk about it okay?”

“Okay.” Clara snuggled closer. “So, since we get to pick the right one. I can help.”

“Of course Clara monkey, you can help.”

Clara yawned. “Good.” Then she fell asleep. Dan picked her up and carried her to her bed. He came back and crawled in next to Phil. 

“Well that was interesting.” Dan leaned against Phil and looked at his laptop screen. It was open to some adoption website, featuring tweens and teenagers looking for homes.

“I know we don’t want a teenager.” Phil shrugged. “These little bios make me so sad.”

“I know Phil…do you think we’re ready for another child?”

“No…but we weren’t ready for the first one and that worked out great.”

“True…it will probably takes months anyway.”

“Exactly!” Phil shut his laptop and wiggled down so his head was resting on the pillows and he was entangled with Dan. “We can call Annabelle again? Just get some information.”

“Exactly, information.”

“Okay, we’ll do that in the morning and just see what happens. We don’t need to make any final decisions or anything.”

“No of course not…just talking.”

“Good.”

“Good.”


	14. Months of Life and Waiting

In February, Dan and Phil began the process of resubmitting all the paperwork that needed to be resubmitted. Annabelle warned them that it would take a good long while this time, and they sighed dramatically. They hadn’t actually meant to apply for adoption again, but once the idea was in their heads they couldn’t imagine not doing it. This time was a little trickier though, because they had to decide what kind of child they wanted, age, race, gender, disability, illness they could pick and choose whatever they wanted. It was entirely overwhelming and exciting all at once. They didn’t tell Clara right away because time was not exactly a solid concept in her mind yet, and they didn’t want to answer the same questions everyday for a month. 

So while things processed, they kept going with their lives. February had been a brutally cold month for England and one morning they woke up to four inches of snow. Their little town rarely got more than an inch or two so this was a day of excitement.

“It’s a Christmas miracle Dan!” Phil said cheerily looking out the window and sipping his coffee.

“It’s February Phillip.”

“A slightly delayed Christmas miracle then. Didn’t I tell you we’d get at least one good storm this year?” Phil grinned. “I cannot wait to take Clara outside and go play.”

“Phil it’s literally freezing.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Weak Southerners. Can’t handle a little snow.”

“Oh should we move back up north. Where everything is ace.” Dan mocked a northern accent.

“That was horrendous. Don’t insult my people.”

Dan smirked. Teasing Phil about his northern tendencies was one of his favorite pastimes. It never ceased to be entertaining. “Oh sorry, your –“

“Daddies!” Clara came hoping into the room and flung herself at the window. “It’s so much snow!”

“Want to put on some snow clothes and play outside?” Phil asked before Dan could say anything. Dan glared at him. 

“Yes!” Clara shrieked and ran to the hall closet. She began to fling everything out. 

“Phillll” Dan whined. “Now I have to go outside too.”

“You don’t have to.”

Dan looked at him like he was crazy. “Of course I have to, it never snows like this. I’m not going to miss it.”

Everyone was bundled and layered. Clara waddled over to the back door that Dan and Phil were beside. “I have to go potty.” 

Dan’s eyes widened. She had to be wearing at least five layers. He glanced at Phil, who looked equally panicked.

“Very badly?” Phil asked. Clara nodded pathetically.

“Okay, Papa will help get you out of the clothes and I’ll go see if I can find a shovel in the garage.” Dan said with more cheer then necessary. He figured since this was all Phil’s idea Phil should have the harder job, even if Dan was secretly very excited. Phil glared at him and off they went. 

Twenty minutes later they were all re-bundled and back at the door. The door opened and the world was a white wonderland outside. Snow coated the lawn completely, the grass hidden away. The trees sparkled with crystallized branches and everything was so bright and clean looking. Clara shrieked with delight and tried to run forward into the snow. She got partway into their backyard and collapsed.

“This is so fun!” She shouted from her spot on the ground. “It pretty and cold.”

“Make a snow angel Clara!” Phil made his way to her and then lay down beside her. “Here you just move your arms and legs like this.” He demonstrated and called Dan over. Dan lay down and they made three snow angles in a circle. Clara decreed hers finished and scampered off.

“Stay in the yard Clara!” Dan called. “This is fun.” He said with a softer voice just for Phil.

“I’ve always liked snow.” Phil said happily, still moving his arms a little. “At least a few times. It doesn’t feel like winter without it.”

“No, I suppose not.” Dan rolled onto his side so he was facing Phil. “I love you.”

“I love you too Bear.” Phil rolled up so they were facing each other. He reached out and played with the hair spilling out from Dan’s winter hat. “Your hair is curling.”

“I know. Stupid hair.”

“I like it.” Phil said softly. A ball of ice suddenly hit him in the face. He sat up sputtering, and saw a grinning Clara.

“I do that right?” She asked. 

“What?” Phil asked. 

“Snowball fight. That’s what they do on TV.”

Dan sat up. “Well, that was very good, but since the snow is cold we try not to hit people in the face.” He grabbed a handful of snow, grinned, and threw it at Clara’s belly. “Like that.”

Clara shrieked and ran backwards and Dan and Phil stood up. They ran around and around pelting snow at each other until they were cold and exhausted. 

*****************  
One day in late May they were standing on the side of a little park in their town. Clara had discovered a passion for football, of all things. Dan and Phil had no idea where this game from, but they encouraged her as much as possible. Today, they were on snack duty, so they got to the practice a little early.

“I just don’t understand how we got snack duty this many times.” Phil said as he pulled out a tray of cookies shaped like footballs they had made the night before. 

“Phil, everyone had signed up and the list still had spots. So when the coach asked I had to sign up three more times.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Dan the ‘coach’ is Emmy’s Dad, and you just did that because he’s cute”

Dan sighed dramatically. “Phil.” He grabbed the bowl with sliced fruit and shut the car door. “Just go set this up.”

Phil laughed as they walked over to the field, because he was right and they both knew it. They sat on the sidelines and watched the last few minutes of practice. It looked nothing like football was supposed to look and was absolutely hilarious. Half the kids were running around in circles or rolling around in their field, and a few were lined up in front of the goal. They watched as they all took turns kicking the ball forward. Clara had a very serious look on her face as her turn came up. She raised her leg and hit the ball and it rolled a few feet in front of her. She grinned triumphantly and skipped over to where Dan and Phil were.

“Did you see me Daddies?” 

“You were great Monkey.” Phil said. 

Dan pulled her into his arms. “That was a great kick.”

Clara wiggled out so she was standing in front of them. “I know. The others kids are faster, but I like to kick the ball.” Then she went back over to the field and sat down next to her friend by some flowers. They stayed there talking until time ran out and Dan and Phil were flooded with preschoolers fighting over snacks. 

Phil detangled two kids who were somehow rolling on the ground holding one juicebox and handed a second one over. “Is this how having a second kid is going to be?”

“I mean my brother and I tackled each other a lot.”

“Yeah me and Martyn too. How long as it been since we heard from Annabelle?” Phil knew the answer, but he needed to ask anyway, as if something had changed that he hadn’t heard about yet. 

“Two weeks, but she said stop calling, everything is in order, we are just waiting.”

“All right, then we just keep waiting.”

*****************  
In September they finally got the call they had been waiting for. There was a little girl who was 16 months old, who might be a good match. They agreed to meet her and were with Annabelle, driving through the London to meet her. They listened closely to some details. 

The girl had been in foster care for two and a half months, and her parental rights had just been terminated. Social services had intervened when she was five months old, since her mother was a drug addict, but she had attended rehab and parenting classes and was clean three months later, and by all accounts the baby was developing just fine so she stayed in her mothers care. Sometime after that the mother got back into drugs and got with a new boyfriend. The new boyfriend was abusive and over the next five months the baby was hospitalized three times. This last time she came in unconscious, with a sprained wrist, broken ribs and a dislocated hip. Finally, she was removed from their care. The Mom and her boyfriend were in jail, and the little girl, called Destini, was waiting. She was sixteen months old, although small for her age to due some malnourishment. 

They pulled up to a rundown house in a less then ideal place in London. “This is her foster home?” Dan asked, his heart breaking.

“Ah yes, Mrs. Roberts is a sweet lady, does the best she can with what she has, feeds the kids and keeps them clean.” 

They walked to the front door and knocked and a little boy of about six opened the door. “Hello, is your foster Mom here?”

The boy shrugged and ran off and the trio followed him. He climbed onto a couch next to two other kids, and zoned back out to the cartoon on the TV. Sitting in a chair was a heavyset middle-aged women, holding a tiny baby with dark red hair. 

“Why hello there Annabelle.” The lady stood up and made her way to them. “These the folks you were talking about?”

“Yes Mrs. Roberts, this is Dan and Phil.” 

Mrs. Roberts looked at them and smiled.” Well alright then.”

“Who are you here for?” A girl who looked about nine asked from the couch.

“Well,” Phil started. 

“It’s the baby isn’t it? It’s always the baby.” The girl sighed and turned back to the TV.

“Sorry about that.” Mrs. Roberts sighed. She passed the little girl over to Dan. “Her room’s upstairs, first door on the left.” She went back to her seat and Dan and Phil and Annabelle and Destini went upstairs. Her room was painted purple and had a set of bunkbeds and a crib in it. There was a bookshelf containing five books, one Barbie doll, and a princess crown. That was it. 

“Okay.” Phil looked around the room and sat down. “Want to read a story?”

Dan sat down next to him and Phil read through the one book that was meant for babies. Destini just sat there in Dan’s lap the whole time, not making any reactions. Phil finished the story and glanced at Annabelle, who was watching in the corner of the room. 

“She’s not babbling or anything.”

“Right, she has spoken at all since she’s been in our care. She’s seeing a speech therapist. We aren’t sure what it is. We know before the physical abuse she was developing normally, and we can’t say for sure how it has affected her yet.”

Dan nodded. “Well…we can sing some songs.” So they sang some songs and passed Destini between them as they twirled and shimmied around the room. Destini stayed quiet the whole time.

There was a knock on the door and Mrs. Roberts came in with a bowl of mac and cheese and some sliced banana. “You can feed her some lunch, but then she needs a nap.” So they talked about mindless things to her while she ate, and then put her in her crib.

The drive back to Annabelle’s office was quiet. They pulled into the parking lot and Annabelle turned to them. “Well, that was Destini. It’s up to you guys, you can see her again, maybe go to a playground or something, or we can wait a little longer and see if there is another child who is a better fit.”

Dan and Phil looked at each other. “You don’t have to decide right away, but by the end of the week would be helpful.”

Phil nodded subtly and Dan turned to Annabelle. “No, we like to try with her again.”

Annabelle smiled. "Excellent."


	15. Double the Kids, Double the Trouble

The second visit went okay. When Dan and Phil got to the house, Destini toddled over to them and lifted her arms up. Dan swooped her up into his arms and figured that that meant she liked them. They gave her a stuffed tiger and she smiled. When they went to the playground Phil got tangled in the equipment and she laughed, so they decided they should try for a third meeting, this time with Clara. 

She came to the door holding the stuffed tiger they had gotten her last time. Phil strapped her into Clara’s old car seat and they went off to their house. 

Clara opened the door and looked suspiciously at the girl in her Dad’s arms. “Hello.” She waved at Destini. Surprising everyone, Destini waved back. Dan sat her on the ground.

“I’m Clara.” Clara looked at her. “You seem alright. My Dads like you, but I don’t know if I do yet, because I don’t know you. Want to go play?”

Clara grabbed her hand and they ran off. Dan and Phil looked at each other, unsure of what to do. 

“Do we follow them?” 

“I don’t know…they need to like each other.”

“Want to listen outside the door?”

“Yes.” They remained outside the door for twenty minutes, listening to giggles and chatter from Clara. There were also way more thumps and bangs then they would have liked. Phil had to remind Dan about fifty times to calm down, and that if they were quiet they should be concerned because does he not remember the time Clara took every book off of her bookcase and stacked them in front of her bedroom door. Phil remembers that very well, because he fell over the books when he went to go put her to bed. 

The clattering came closer to the door and Dan and Phil jumped back as it opened. 

“Dads” Clara looked at them. “Bye!”

“Where are you going?”

Clara just giggled and grabbed Destini’s hand and they ran off. They went into the study, and climbed onto the piano bench. Dan and Phil watched as they happily banged on the keys. Destini giggled and banged some more.

“Hey, she likes it.” Dan had a huge grin on his face. “Maybe I can teach her or something.”

“That’d be great Dan.” Phil rubbed his back. “I know you like playing for Clara.” 

The rest of visit went smoothly, and soon enough they had returned Destini and went to talk with Clara. 

“What did you think monkey?”

“I think I would make a great big sister. I can teach the alphabet, and I can count to ten and I can put on my own shoes, unless they have laces.”

“Yes, that’s lovely Clara. I know you will be a great big sister. Did you like spending time with Destini?”

“She’s okay.”

“Okay….” Phil hesitated. He wasn’t sure how much he could get out of a four year old, but her really needed to make sure this would work. He already loved the new toddler, but he wanted Clara to be okay with all of this as well. 

“Did you have fun?” Dan chimed in.

“Yes. I liked playing with her. She liked my dollies.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, I asked if she wanted to keep one when she moved in and she said yes, so I’m going to give her Bella-Sophia Sparkle Poop.”

“What?” Dan was so proud of his daughter. She was going to give away one of her beloved dolls to this new girl in her life she had only just met.

“Bella-Sophia Sparkle Poop Dad. The one with blue hair, she’s the auntie of Rainbow Fluff and Fredrick the Third Second.”

“Right of course.” Dan grinned. “Wait, did she actually say the word yes?”

“Yeah dad.” 

“You’re sure? She doesn’t speak very well.” Phil needed to check. If Destini had actually said something it would be amazing. 

Clara looked like she was about to roll her eyes at their stupidity. “Papa, I know the word yes. Besides she’s a baby, she doesn’t know how to speak much. Don’t worry though, I’ll teach her.” She looked shockingly condescendingly at Phil for a four year old, patted Phil’s leg and skipped away.

Dan laughed as he watched her go. “Oh my god, we are in trouble when she’s a teenager.”

*****************  
With two days left in September Annabelle came by with Destini and her things. 

“So, as you know, the adoption paperwork will take a few months. Until then, consider this a trial period. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out.”

“Of course.” Phil smiled his charming smile.

“I have an important question.” Dan smiled, trying to sound normal. “Can we change her name?”

“Dan!” Phil rolled his eyes. “Sorry, he’s ‘posh’”

“Phil! You know I am not posh. Her name isn’t even spelled correctly. Come on.” Dan had tried to explain this, but Phil just didn’t understand. It had to be spelled correctly. Besides, he didn’t want her to get teased for life or asked 50 million times how to spell it. 

“Well, that depends. A lot of children are used to their names, and don’t want to loose what makes them them, others are glad to get rid of a name tied to so much trauma and hardship. Destini is young yet, so really, it is up to you.”

“Okay.” Dan nodded. They’d think about it, fight about it, and then name their kid. He figured it would take two nights, max.

“I’ll check back in a few weeks okay?”

She left, leaving them with two kids. They went out to the back garden where they were playing in a leaf pile with the teenager down the block. 

“How have they been?”

“Oh great! Although I’m trying to make a nice neat pile and they keep messing it up!”

Clara and Destini looked at each other and giggled, before jumping backing into the pile and throwing leaves every which way.

“Hey, what do you think about changing names?” Dan asked her. They had really grown to care for the girl, and trusted her opinions. She had, thankfully, gotten rid of her fan girl tendency, so now they could have real meaningful conversations and get to know each other as people. She only complained once about not being able to defend them when she knew something no one else did and they were getting shit for it online. Plus, she watered their plants when they were away, she had unlimited access to their house and child, and nothing ever ended up on the internet.

“Are you guys taking each others last names?” She squealed. 

Dan groaned and mentally corrected himself, she had mostly gotten rid of her fangirl tendencies. “No, Destini.”

“Ah.” She nodded seriously and raked a pile of leaves on top of the two girls in the pile. “Well, I suppose that depends. You can ask her and see if she like any names.”

“She doesn’t really talk.” Phil stretched out his arms. 

“No, but she says yes and no.” 

Dan nodded. “True.”

“If it helps, I’m partial to Becca”

Phil laughed. “Yes, thank you Becca.”

“How did you come up with such a name?” Dan asked his sarcasm turned fully on.

Becca just smirked. “I don’t know. I’m a bit of a name connoisseur really.”

A laugh escaped Dan’s mouth before he could stop. “Well thanks for your help. Now go home kid.”

“You haven’t paid me in a week.”

“We’ll pay you Friday.” Becca rolled her eyes and left. Phil looked at Dan and ginned. Then he leapt into the leaf pile.

“Papa attack!” He shrieked. His body flailed around and leaved went every which way. Clara and Destini shrieked and laughed and tried to throw leaves back. They might have succeeded too, until Dan jumped into the pile on the other side. By the time they went back inside for dinner, the backyard had a leaf in every corner, but it was one of those things and those days, that were just worth it. 

*****************  
It took them a week. But they finally decided on Adeline Destiny, they’d call her Addie for short.  
****************

Some days were good, and some days were just hard. Some days there was pee everywhere but the toilet, some days there were kids who made themselves stiff as a board as they cried in the supermarkets, some days they got upset because they couldn’t physically do what other kids could do or because they didn’t want chicken nuggets or just because. 

Some days, were harder then others. 

They liked to paint. They’d put the kids in their old t-shirts; ones that fell past their knees, and let them go wild. 

Clara was at a point where everything was hers, and everything had to be perfect. She was working hard at a painting that really, looked more like a blob but was apparently very important, when Addie reached over and grabbed her paintbrush. 

“Addie no,” Phil said from his spot supervising on his couch. He was mostly editing a video because it was two days later then he had wanted it to go up, but everything got off schedule when they were all cold and stuffy and feeling sick as November cold season came down on them. “Give that back to Clara. There’s a paintbrush right there.” He pointed to the brush and went back to his video because there was one part that he couldn’t for the life of him get right and it was driving him crazy. 

Addie clutched the paintbrush and turned away from Clara’s outreached hand. In the struggle that lasted all of ten seconds Clara tipped over and blue paint spilled all over her painting and she burst into tears. Dan walked into the room. Addie swung her arm back and swiped paint down the side of the couch. 

“I SAID NO.” Phil’s voice was significantly raised. It came out just as Dan and swooped Clara up into his arms to try and comfort her. 

Addie dropped the brush like she had been burned and curled up into a tiny frozen ball. 

“Sorry Ad’s but you can’t take things from Clara’s hand.” Phil bent down to rub her back comfortingly but she stiffened under his hand and got smaller, if that was at all possible. “Addie?... Adeline sweetie, I know you didn’t mean to get paint on the couch. It’s okay,” 

She didn’t move. “Dan?” Phil looked up. He had never seen her like this and didn’t know what to do. 

Dan bent down and released a calmer, but still sniffle-y Clara. “Hey Addie bug, can you look at Daddy?” Clara leaned into Phil and watched everything closely. “Adeline, it’s okay.” Dan touched her arm and she pulled away. 

“They’re not going to hit you.” Clara’s voice piped up. Dan and Phil looked at her, surprise written over both their faces. “Addie, they’re not mean.”

Addie looked up at Clara, just Clara. “Sa-weey.” 

“It’s okay.” Clara held out her hand. “Want to go bang on Daddy’s piano?”

“Yeth.” She said. She had started speaking more, and it wasn’t perfect yet, but it was something. 

They ran off and Dan and Phil looked at each other. 

“Huh.” 

“I scared her.”

“Phil.”

“Dan, I scared her so bad she thought I would hit her.” Phil felt like he was going to die. It was literally the worst feeling in the world. 

Dan pulled Phil into his arms. “It wasn’t you Phil, it was that monster of a man. I mean Jesus Phil, remember when she spilled her milk and froze like that too. He’s the one she’s scared of, not you.”

“I’m the one who yelled at her.”

“You told her no Phil. That’s okay. We just…we need to figure out how to do it so she doesn’t picture him anymore, find a balance.” Dan squeezed Phil tight and kissed his forehead. “It’s okay, Phil, she’s okay, she still loves you.”

*****************  
In late March, the day before Addie’s adoption was to go through, the little family, of soon to be four went to the indoor trampoline place. It was the morning of a school day so it was nearly empty, and it was glorious. 

“Papa catch me!” Clara yelled before leaping off a trampoline into a foam pit. Phil caught her, and then wasn’t sure how to actually get out. He thrashed around and tried to get closer to the edge, and just proceed to get more entangled in the square pieces of foam. Dan was absolutely no help at all, and just took a photo laughing from the sideline. 

“Papa,” Clara rested a hand on his arm. “You get out like this.” She climbed out of his arms and seemed to easily move across until she got to the edge and Dan pulled her out. “It’s easy Papa.”

“Hand Papa.” Addie leaned over the edge and held out her hand. “I hewlp.” 

A huge smile broke out on Phil’s face and he stretched forward to try and reach her tiny toddler hand. After a little more spinning and sinking he got close to the edge. Addie and Clara grabbed one hand and Dan the other and out Phil came. He was missing a sock but those went missing on a shockingly regular basis in the Howell-Lester household. 

Addie held up her arms to be picked up. “Jump Papa.”

Phil swung her into his arms. 

“I bet I can jump the highest.” Dan looked at Phil and grinned. 

“No way Daddy.” Clara ran towards the trampolines. “I’m going to win.”

“Me and Papa.” Addie said definitely. 

“Guys, we all know it’s going to be me.” Dan smirked and jumped onto the trampoline, bouncing slowly into the air. “Okay, ready guys, lets see who wins. 1…2…Phil that’s cheating!” He laughed and they jumped around and tried to do weird flips and just played. They left when too many big kids came, and went home and worked and ate and slept. 

The next came quickly and before they knew it Destini the foster kid became Adeline Destiny Howell-Lester, the second official Howell-Lester, and the perfect fourth to their little family.


	16. Life and Plans for One Day

Months passed and the family learned how to be a family of four. In late August, Clara and Addie were asked to be the flower girls in the wedding of Dan’s old friends wedding. They had reconnected again recently, after they found out the lived close to each other, and apparently he didn’t have to many friends with kids the right age for weddings. Dan wasn’t actually sure his were the right age, but they said sure and figured they’d try. 

Clara and Addie were 5 and 2, so while they were technically capable of walking down the aisle and throwing flowers. 

Phil came back from a meeting one day to find Dan with books forming an aisle laid out in their living room. Dan had an old flower crown on his head, a tutu around his waist and a basket filled with cacti. 

They hadn’t noticed Phil yet. Music turned on and Dan marched down the aisle, throwing the cacti left and right. Clara and Addie watched very seriously. 

“Hey those are my cacti!” Phil smirked from the doorway. 

Dan blushed slightly, as he was prone to do. 

Phil grinned. He couldn’t help it sometimes. He just had to tease his Dan. “Nice outfit Bear.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “It was necessary Phil.”

“We’re practicing Papa.” Clara said. 

Dan collected the cacti. “Your turn!” The girls stood at the end of the aisle. Their baskets were filled with crayons and toy food. The music started and they began to walk down the “aisle”. 

“A little slower.” Dan said.

“Remember to smile.” Phil smiled at them and they smiled back, getting to the end.

“I do it!” Addie smiled and spun around in a circle, causing her dress to flair out every which way. 

“Good job girls!” Dan beamed. “We’ll go up in a few days to practice in the church okay.”

“Yes!” They chorused before running off somewhere. 

“Dan.”

Dan bit his lip and wiggled his hips seductively. “Like my outfit?” 

There was a crash and a shriek and then footsteps pounding up the stairs.

Phil groaned. He’d jump in front of a moving bus for his girls, but their timing was tortuous sometimes. “What the hell was that?” They went to the kitchen to find a broken bowl on the ground, and the cookies that were in said bowl suspiciously missing. 

Dan shook his head looking at the mess. “They’ve have got to learn to be more stealthy. I mean really, stealing cookies is a childhood basic life skill.” 

“Until then, go yell at them and get the cookies back. I really wanted to eat more of those.”

“You always want to eat more of them Phil. You go if it’s so important.”

“No way, I dealt with the cutting up the dress she didn’t like.”

Dan groaned. “Fine damnit.” Then he grinned and wiggled again. “You owe me.”

Phil smirked. “Good.”  
*****************  
They were standing at the back of the church, watching their girls slowly make their way down the aisle. Phil was very glad they were having a rehearsal, because it wasn't exactly going well. First Clara tripped walking in and somehow managed to scrape her knee open. Now they were frozen in the middle of the aisle. More accurately, Addie was frozen and Clara looked annoyed. 

Dan groaned and then slid down the aisle towards them. Phil watched as he knelt in front of them and they talked. Dan hugged them and went back towards Phil.

“Addie was scared of the people looking at her.”

“Dan, this is like a quarter of the people that will be here tomorrow. It’s the rehearsal.” Phil knew Addie wasn’t comfortable around people she didn’t know very well, just like how he knew the slightly uneven flooring in the old church made it more likely Clara was stumble and fall.

“Good thing we’re practicing.” Dan grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “They’ll be okay Phil.”

Phil let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding when they made it to the end of the aisle. Clara beamed brightly and Addie waved happily at them. 

The next day came and it was time. They had Phil at one end of the church and Dan at the other, just in case. The girls were in their dresses and Dan was back with them, positively cooing over how cute they looked. He fluffed their skirts and folded their frilly white socks and reclipped the bows in their hair. 

“Are you girls ready?” The last bridesmaid began her march down the aisle. 

“Yes Daddy.”

“Okay, remember to throw the flowers, and if you get scared, just go to Papa okay?”

“Yes Daddy.” 

Dan sent them off. They flung their flowers enthusiastically and made it all the way down the aisle. They got a little antsy during the ceremony, but everyone reassured them after that the twirling flower girls were really the cutest thing ever. 

That night they were in bed in their hotel room. Addie and Clara were asleep on the bed next to theirs. Phil was replaying the day’s events in his head, and Dan was scrolling through the Internet. 

“When do you think we’re going to get married?

“Oh my god Phil, that better not be your proposal.” Dan sat down his laptop and moved himself to sit on Phil’s lap. “Because I love you, but no.”

“Hypothetically, after an epic proposal which you are more than capable of doing yourself by the way, when will we get married?”

Dan fiddled with Phil’s fringe, pushing up into a quiff. “Well…we want our kids to be apart of the wedding.”

“Of course.”

“I think I want one more. In a few years. So we can’t leave that one out.”

Phil shrugged. He knew Dan wanted three. “Okay, so a few years, then a few more.”

“Pretty much.”

“All of my friends will be married before me those bastards.”

“Phil, not counting the piece of paper, you’ve definitely been married the longest and youngest.”

“What are you counting?” Phil smiled. He knew they were married in every way but the legal one, they had kids after all, but it was still nice to hear it sometimes. 

“Well…” Dan rested his head sleepily on Phil’s shoulder. ”I suppose when we moved in together in Manchester. Before that, we were totally normally dating...our version of normal at least. After that, we were basically married. Especially so when we moved together to London…What do you think?”

“I knew I was going to marry you three months after we met in real life.” Phil wrapped his arms around Dan. “The week I realized I was in love with you. You left and it was awful, more awful then all the other times, and I just knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you.” Dan says into his neck.

“I love you too Bear.” Phil tried to shift down. “Dan, if you’re going to fall asleep on me you have to move your hips to the side. I can’t move.”

“Fuck off.” He moved anyway and they readjusted so they were still entangled but not all of his body weight was on Phil. “It’s not my fault I’m 6’3”.”

“It is.” Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and pulled him impossibly closer. “I’m going to make sure the next person I have kids with is no more than 5' tall. Then I can hold them forever without getting crushed to death.”

“I hate you.” Dan mumbled, half asleep. 

Phil kissed his forehead and let himself drift off to sleep. “Love you too.”


	17. The End

The girl was back in her hometown. She wasn’t really a girl anymore, and she didn’t quite feel like an adult yet. But she was so much more than when she was sixteen and lost. She had just graduated university, and took the train down for the day. She needed to say goodbye to the town she grew up in. 

When the girl had gone to university, she had run away from the town without looking back. She couldn’t bear to face her problems. Then her parents announced they were moving and she was at Uni and then they were gone. The girl never really had a chance to say goodbye. She couldn’t have done it then anyway. 

Her old friend had invited her back for a graduation party. A we need to get apartments and pay rent party, a holy shit people think we are grown up party. The girl said yes, she hadn’t been back in years, and she was finally ready to say goodbye. 

She got the train early and was walking through the little park where memories swirled around her when she heard a voice that sounded familiar. Walking towards her was AmazingPhil and the little girl who must be C. The daughter she remembered hearing about. 

She didn’t watch them as much anymore. She was still subscribed of course, she still had her AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire t-shirt that she wore to bed, and she still tuned in for the occasional video, especially the PINOF’s, but she didn’t live and breath them, she didn’t read phanfiction, and her tumblr wasn’t only them. 

They got closer and she hesitated. This was one half of her idol, the duo she once gave everything to. She looked at the little girl and her eyes widened. It was impossible. “Phil.” She said before she could stop herself. 

The young women had never actually met Phil. Her heart beat faster as she looked at the man who once saved her life and gave her hope. She really did love them, even if they didn’t know her name.

“Hello there.” He said his voice cheery and full of life. 

“I’m..” The young women hesitated. “I’m a huge fan. You guys saved me so much when I was a teenager. Thank You.”

“Aw,” Phil smiled at her. “Thank you so much for watching. We really hope we can make me people happy with our videos.”

“You did.” The young women said. She glanced at the little girl and smiled. She couldn’t believe it, but there was no doubt in her mind that that was her child. The child she thought she lost forever. The young women remember sobbing hysterically when they had liveshow where they explained what happened and said the baby, her baby, was in foster care. She had been devastated. Yet her little girl had been there the whole time. “I grew up here, it’s a great place to raise a family.” She tore her eyes away from the little girl and smiled. 

“We’ve certainly liked it so far, but it’s good to hear from people who grew up here. Are you in Uni?”

“I just graduated.” The young women looked at him, wanting to shout thank you over and over again, thank you for saving me, thank you for saving my child, thank you for protecting her.

“What will you be doing?”

“I’m going to be a counselor, work with teenagers.” The young women hesitated. “When I was 16, I made what I thought was the worst mistake possible. I just, I wish I had someone to actually talk to about, so I want to be what I didn’t have at that age.”

“That’s very admirable.” Phil smiled. “I’m sure you’ll do great. You seem like you didn’t make things that bad anyway.”

The young women smiled down at the girl. “You know, back then I thought it was the worst thing in the world. I really messed up, and then I got stuck and kept making things worse. Then, I barely told anybody and it kept it eating me up inside. I watched you guys actually, but I was a mess for a few years after.” She looked at this little girl who held a football in her hands and was holding tightly to her Dad’s leg and smiled. Her baby was okay. Her baby was great and everything was how the young women dreamed. Better even. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of C even if she tried. She didn’t want to though. “But looking at things now, things seem okay. It worked out.”

The young women bent down in front of the little girl and Phil’s eyes darted between them. The strangers wild blond waves matched his daughters dark brown ones, but their noses and jaws were different and fan was much paler compared to C’s tan skin. Then the fan smiled slightly and it was the exact same smile as his daughters.

“Hi there,” the young women said to the girl. “What’s your name?”

“Um, C?” The girl glanced at her Dad and the young women did the same and Phil nearly gasped because they had identical green eyes and Phil knew. 

“It’s okay honey, you can tell her.” He said slowly, watching the interaction between the two of them.

“I’m Clara, but that’s a secret from most of Daddies’ fans.”

The young women smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell. Do you like when your Daddies’ make videos?”

The girl nodded. “Mmmhmm. I like when I can be in them most. They make my face blurry by magic. Sometimes we have to be very quite when they film though. But, in school everyone else’s parents work and mine get to stay home and play.”

“I bet you like playing with them.”

The girl nodded quite seriously. “It is the very best. I like football, even though my Daddies are worse then me. I like to color and draw, and go down the slide, and I like playing zoo. I want to get a dog. I like dollies.”

“Wow! That all sounds so fun. How do you play zoo?”

“Well, Papa’s a lion and Daddy is a bear, and I’m a monkey, my new sister is a tiger cause she’s got red hair. We haven’t found my brother yet. Daddies say we have to wait until I’m seven or eight, but then we’ll see what he is.” Clara’s eyes sparkled as she talked about her family and the young women heart swelled with joy. 

“Oh!” The women hadn’t heard of a sister. “Where’s your other Dad and sister?”

“Daddy's watching her because she has to nap.” Clara’s chest puffed out with pride. “I don’t nap any more because I am in real school with all the big kids. I’m finishing my very first year and even when I could when I’m not in school, I don’t nap because I am so grown up now.”

“Wow, that’s great! You seem very grown up.” The women smiled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” Phil said.

“I didn’t say it.” The young women looked at the little girl again. “Well, it was very nice to meet you Clara. It sounds like you get to have a lot of fun with your Dads'.” She lowered her voice to a fake whisper. “I hope they get better at footie for you, but the team in this town is very good. I was on it myself. I bet if you join you’ll be able to beat your Daddies every time.”

Clara grinned. “I already do.”

The young women laughed and stood up. “Good job.” She glanced at Phil and saw the look on his face. He knew, he could see it too. “I just.” She glanced at the little girl again. “Thank you for everything. You kept me above water and I, …thank you.”

Phil nodded. The young women started to walk away. “Wait,” she turned at the shout and looked at Phil. He was clutching his daughter’s hand tightly. “Please, what’s your name?”

The young women bit her lip. “Ruby.” She finally said. “I’m Ruby.”

“Ruby what?”

“Phil.” The girl shook her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” She couldn’t. Her baby was safe and healthy and happy, and so was she. She couldn’t change that now. She didn’t want to. 

Phil nodded in understanding. “Okay.” Ruby turned to go. “But Ruby,” Phil said. She stopped and looked at him. “Thank you.” His eyes welled with tears. “Thank you so much for everything.” 

Ruby nodded and let her own eyes fill up with tears. She watched as they turned and kept going in the direction she had come from. Clara was holding Phil’s hand and swinging it back and forth, sometimes skipping a little, sometimes running and dragging him along. She heard them burst into laughter at something and smiled. She turned away and went the other way, where she had been headed in the beginning. 

Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this. I'm so thankful for every kudos, subscriber and comment. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
